Break, mend and shatter
by Sandrine C
Summary: Set after 1x22, AU, D/E. What happens to Elena afer Stefan leaves with Katherine as part of a bargain to keep her unharmed? Why is Damon picking up the pieces his brother left behind, when the world expects him to keep chasing the love of his life?
1. Chapter 1

**Break, mend and shatter**

**Disclaimer: The characters and other things from The Vampire Diaries don't belong to me. Credit goes to the rightful owners.**

**Prologue: Walking on broken glass**

_**Elena**_

You know you don't live here," I said to Damon, not bothering to look up, as he came into my living room, dropping down tiredly by the end of the couch, lifting my feet and placing them on his lap. The familiarity of the gesture bringing a guilty sense of relief to me, like it has night after night, like a bad habit I couldn't shake.

"Is that an invitation?" he replied with that ever familiar smirk on his face and a wink in my direction.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head as I shifted to get into a more comfortable position, my legs sliding to rest on his thighs, letting my feet dangle a bit.

"You really wanna know why I'm here?" Damon said turning his torso towards me, his eyes sparkling with untold mischief.

"Do I even want to know?" I replied knowing he'll tell me anyway.

He sighed dramatically and tapped a rhythm near my ankle, as if one of the beats will cue his answer.

"Because I'm the only thing left to remind you it was all real." Damon said quietly, staring straight past me as if I wasn't there, before turning to lean back on the couch, head dropped back so he faced the ceiling.

His words surprised me but not the sudden shift in his mood. It happened more frequently now. His mask slips so easily now, as If he's slowly forgetting he's the big badass vampire with a thing for black and leather. Without his smoke and mirrors, I can almost sense vulnerability in him. Almost.

We were silent for about thirty seconds before he turned to me with a laugh painted on his face, as if the moment was still as casual as it started.

"And of course we can't have you missing me too much and acting all distracted at school everyday, signing my name inside little hearts in your notebook. Bonnie might start to think I compelled you. She's going to want to light me on fire, right? Or maybe pelt me with all the books in sight. I don't know…what do you think? Which looks better on me? Burns or bruises? Elena?" Damon teased, the words not really filling up the void that showed up in his eyes just moments before, "Helloooo? Anyone home in there?"

I shook my head and turned my attention back to the geometry problem I was solving. He shook his head and gave up. Damon absently picked up the tattered copy of Pride and Prejudice he started reading a few days back.

We fell silent, leaving each other to our books and ultimately our thoughts. It was comfortable kind of quiet that filled the space; there was no need to for trivial conversation. I only had to be content to have him there.

But it was also a silence that held back floodgates of questions, which seemingly multiplied each second since Stefan left to be with Katherine.

From the start, I had answers. Damon had them as well. But it's already been six months, three days and 12 hours since and at this point, we both understood enough to separate the truth from the lies.

Truth, Katherine bargained with Stefan. He leaves me to be with her, and she harms no one in Mystic Falls.

Lie, Stefan had no other choice. She was too powerful.

Truth, Stefan believed he was protecting me.

Lie, Stefan would never hurt me.

Truth, Stefan asked Damon to stay and protect me.

Lie, Damon is here, in my house and reading a "girly" book as he called it, because Stefan asked him to.

Truth, Damon was obsessed with Katherine and would follow her to the ends of the Earth.

Lie, Damon never got over her.

Truth, I trust Damon—to make me laugh, to protect me and ultimately, to annoy me to endless distraction that I don't remember my heart is still breaking.

Lie, Stefan will find a way to end Katherine and come back to me.

Lie, Stefan loved me more than Katherine.

I sighed audibly and Damon instinctively squeezed my ankle gently to comfort me, a gesture that wasn't lost on me.

"This Darcy, is he really going to get the girl by being a pompous ass all the way to the end? I bet he's not even as hot as me." he asked staring straight at me, eyebrows knitted in quest, "How can you possibly have read this more than once?"

"No one's forcing you to read it," I said, "Stop if you want, but you obviously can't wait to see exactly _why and how _he ends up with Elizabeth...How can an arrogant, self-serving snob win her over? Doesn't that make you curious, Damon? But, hey if you don't like it, by all means stop reading it."

He rolled his eyes at me, "Yeah, well I've never been this bored before."

"Thank you for thinking so highly of my company Damon." I shot back, smiling down at the same problem I've been trying to solve for the past half hour. Damon=distracting. I couldn't get anything done. "Go home, take the book with you, I don't care."

He reached out and lifted my chin with a finger so I'd look straight at him.

"You do." Damon said his blue eyes boring into mine, the intensity of his gaze making me look away.

"I don't." I said in a sing-song voice, still not brave enough to look directly at him.

He rolled his eyes and ripped my geometry book from my hands, taking my pen as well.

"You do," he repeated as he scribbled something on the scratch paper inside my book, "You care that I'm here or you wouldn't have been distracted enough to keep staring at the same problem long enough that I was able to solve it from over here."

He returned it to me before standing up, propping my feet on a throw pillow as he did.

_H= 50_

He scribbled it neatly, copying my handwriting with eerie precision.

"There, homework over. Time for bed. Chop, chop Elena." Damon said clapping his hands in front of my face.

I swatted it away and rolled my eyes at him. I closed my school book and picked up the pocketbook he left behind.

He threw up his hands in the air in mock frustration, "Well, I'm not going to tuck you in then. How's that Elena? I'm not checking under your bed to make sure there are no monsters there."

I pretended not to hear him, making him even more persistent in his attempts to get a reaction out of me.

"Elena, you better not misplace the bookmark I left there. Wickham had better not go anywhere when I start on that tomorrow."

Against my better judgment, a small smile formed on my lips, the kind that did not escape the sharp eyes of the vampire, "You're coming back?"

He shook his head and let out an exasperated sigh as if to say, duh Elena. I know. It was a stupid question but I had to ask. I needed to be sure that at least I can depend on that one constant in my life.

"Fine, I'm going if you're just going to ignore me. Time for the vampire to turn into a bat and go inside his coffin," Damon said dramatically as. he turned to leave

"Thanks." I said softly, closing my eyes as I sighed.

"I'm good at Math, you're not. It was the least I could do," he replied not bothering to turn around, his words light but his voice thick with veiled emotion.

"Damon…"I said eyes still closed, the annoyance seeping into my voice.

I thought he left, until I felt his lips press softly on the top of my head a few seconds later.

"I know," he whispered, "I get it."

Just like that and then he was gone.


	2. Run, don't walk and don't ever look back

**Break, mend and shatter**

**Disclaimer: The characters and other things from The Vampire Diaries don't belong to me. Credit goes to the rightful owners.**

**Chapter 1: Run, don't walk, and don't ever look back**

_**Damon**_

I closed the front door softly behind me, the motion as familiar as the day I mistakenly kissed Katherine. Just another reminder of how stupid I was not to sense that I wasn't the only one without a heartbeat on that porch. Love-struck idiots really do have a tendency to be ignorant.

I shook my head and sat down on the porch steps. Bonnie is a good witch but I don't trust that her magic has resealed the house against Katherine. Saving me doesn't erase the fact that she betrayed Elena. I'll risk my life but never hers. I'll die before Katherine touches a hair on Elena's head.

I stared out into the darkness as I listened to Elena walk towards the door behind me, look through the peephole, and hesitate to open the door. She doesn't, instead she pads softly away, probably thinking I can't possibly hear her, and goes up the stairs to her room. She does it every night. I would know. I heard her each time.

'She's turning me into a sap—a lonely, old and devastatingly handsome sap.' I said smiling to myself as I looked up at the full moon, wondering if it saw everything that happened that fateful night six months ago.

_**

* * *

**_

_**Flashback**_

"_You don't understand Damon!" Stefan yelled, "It's the only way to keep her safe."_

"_Are you insane?" I said, "How is this the only way? I can think of ten other ways, and none of them, NONE, involve YOU running away to your personal happily ever after with KATHERINE!"_

"_I can't take her on, I'm not strong enough. And you, you will never hurt her. If we let her stay here in Mystic Falls, it's only a matter of time before something happens to Elena," Stefan pleaded with me_

"_I LOVE HER, Stefan!" I shouted back, "Why would I bother hurting the woman I kept searching for over a hundred years? Of course I won't. So how's this for an idea,_ I'll _leave WITH HER!"_

"_I don't want to go Damon. But she wants _me_ Damon. _**Me**_**.**__ I have to protect Elena somehow, " Stefan said quietly, his eyes never leaving my face, half apologetic and well, half pleased with his sorry ass. _

_I had nothing to say. It was simply the truth. Katherine asked _him_, not me. On top of that, she mentioned something about how I'm beyond saving and it wasn't even worth it to try. Thank you, Katherine, for throwing my words back to my face. FYI, it wasn't meant for you, so you have no right to use it against me._

"_Then go." I said darkly, "But I'll be on your heels Stefan. One way or another I'll get her back. I don't care if it takes a year or another hundred, I will win."_

"_Really?" Stefan taunted, his face dangerously close, eyes narrowed to slits_

"_Really." I shot back glaring at him_

"_You will leave Mystic falls, this house, and _Elena_, virtually unprotected in a house Katherine has been invited in?" Stefan challenged_

"_I LOVE KATHERINE, STEFAN! Are you not listening? Elena is _your_ problem, not mine." I shouted back_

"_Imagine Elena dead, lying in a pool of her own blood, in a place so dark and remote that no one will find her rotting body for days. Can you switch off your emotions with that in your head? Can you, Damon? Can you honestly say, it's only a problem for me?" Stefan shouted uncharacteristically, desperate for me to agree_

_His words burned into my mind even as I tried to block it out. But Stefan knew the damage was done, the images flashed in my head slowing down as I focused on Elena's eyes—blank, empty and void of any life. Anger coursed through my body like fire and I picked up the bottle of scotch next to me and threw it hard across the room._

"_My, my, the Salvatore brothers are fighting, about me I hope," Katherine drawled, looking down at the broken glass next to her, tilting her head as she stared at me, "Damon, you need to be careful. You almost hit me."_

_The mock hurt in her voice incensed me further and I reached for another bottle but she was beside me in a flash, her hand gripping my wrist painfully._

"_Hmm, not the time to make a mess Damon, now is the time for sweet goodbyes," she said in a light tone, barely masking the dangerous warning, "Unless you want to come? It will be just like 1864. The three of us, forever, just as I had planned."_

_Her finger trailed a line up my arm and somehow ended on my lips. Desire burns my body and my instincts almost took over had I not looked past her shoulder._

_Elena._

_She stood by the archway into the living room, taking in the broken glass, Stefan staring at her with eyes full of warning and then me with Katherine, locked in our own little world. _

_I gripped Katherine's wrist, finding the will to keep her in place as Elena inched closer to danger._

"_Let me go Damon," Katherine said, her voice dripping with warning, "It's impolite to keep me from greeting, dear Elena. She's family, I should welcome her properly."_

"_She's generations removed from you, just wave hello Katherine. It's more than enough." I said fiercely not letting go of her._

_Katherine used her other hand to push me straight into the wall behind me, narrowly missing Elena. She rushed over to help me up, my chest throbbing from the force._

_Stefan, my idiot brother, who claimed to be hopelessly in love with Elena, stood frozen in place. I looked at Elena as her eyes were frantically signaling to Stefan to come over and then at Katherine, who was watching us with a bored expression on her face_

"_Stefan!" Elena pleaded, "Help me get Damon up."_

_My brother finally found his long lost motor skills and took a step in our direction but Katherine blocked his path with an outstretched arm._

"_Oh, I think he can get up by himself. Can't you Damon?" Katherine said, "If anything, I think Elena is making it harder, such a weak and clumsy girl. Do you want me to make it easier for you Damon? I can get her out of the way."_

_She motioned to take a step towards us and I stood up quickly, stepping in front of Elena, mirroring Katherine's movements, making sure I kept myself between the two women._

"_Well," Katherine said clapping her hands together, "I think we've all made our choices this evening and for the rest of eternity. It's time to go Stefan. Go say goodbye to your pathetic older brother."_

_Stefan looked at Elena, beseeching and apologetic, for believing his own, lie—that this is the only way. He flicked a glance at me, a warning, a threat and ultimately telling me to stick to the decision I just made. I glared at him as I continued to move, making sure Elena was safe behind me, as the happy couple made their way out._

"_Goodbye Elena, it was nice knowing that you're nothing behind that very pretty face," Katherine said condescendingly, "Adieu Damon, glad to know Isobel was right about one thing. It made my work here much easier than anticipated."_

_I heard myself growl and Elena immediately placed a hand on my arm to restrain me, shaking her head as she did so. _

"_Damon…" she pleaded softly, and I felt my muscles relax as she said my name. I turned and nodded to her, using my other hand to remove hers on my arm, giving it a squeeze before letting it go._

_Katherine smirked and made a show of linking her arm with Stefan's, waving at us with her fingers moments ago lit a fire in me._

_Then they were just…gone._

_I turned and faced Elena fully, "I thought you loved that brooding brother of mine, and you just let him go? Just like that?"_

"_Look, Damon," she started hesitantly, testing just how volatile my state was, "Stefan has a plan."_

"_Yeah, a stupid one—agree to Katherine's little ultimatum to keep you safe and I'll be your full-time baby-sitter to make sure she keeps her end of this little farce." I lashed out at her_

_She flinched visibly but I couldn't be stopped, "Elena, he left you with me. Do you even realize how stupid that sounds? Katherine must have him wrapped around her little finger that bad for him to think that's even remotely a good idea!"_

"_He's going to kill her," she said rapidly as if it will lessen the shock, "and then come back for me. Eliminate the danger once and for all."_

"_You actually believe that? You think Stefan is capable of killing Katherine? Elena, wake up, Stefan was drawn to you to begin with because you could pass for her twin. Believe me; whatever way you spin it, Katherine will always come first." I said harshly, "And you and I, we'll always be second string."_

_I closed my eyes and laughed bitterly to myself until it turned into wild, unrestrained laughter. I saw Elena eyeing me warily as it turned into a howl and I threw the nearest object through the glass window, the shattering sound was like music to my ears. I wanted to rage as the grief bottled inside me just exploded. The feeling of this entire lifetime wasted on chasing after nothing weighing down on my, trapping me. _

_And then everything went still as I felt Elena's thin arms encircle me, her thin body pressed close to me, just like that night when she pulled me out of my blind fury at not finding Katherine in that tomb._

_For a second, the grief was replaced by a calm I couldn't describe. _

"_I'm sorry," she said softly._

_I took her by the arms and held her at length away from me and watched as tears fell from her eyes. _

"_I'm sorry," she repeated, "I'm the reason she has to die."_

"_Be sorry for saying the stupidest thing I've ever heard, Elena," I said hoarsely shaking my head as I let her go, "You're sorry that an evil queen bitch needs to die to protect the innocent? Seriously. I love the girl but really? Elena?"_

"_What do you want me to say Damon?" Elena said finally exploding, "This sucks. I hate it. Stefan's plan is crap. I don't think it's the only thing we have but I can't deny there's some truth in its simplicity."_

"_Truth? You want the truth Elena?" I challenged her, "Stefan loves her. Somewhere in that weak heart of his, this was the easy choice because it was always easier to just agree with Katherine because he still cares about her. That's the truth, he might never come back to you because he's going to let her live and you'll always be in danger."_

_Elena closed her eyes and took a deep breath, her jaw clenched as tight as her balled up fists. She dropped silently on the couch behind her and sat mutely for minutes, my gaze never leaving her._

"_Go. Save her. Kill Stefan. Leave me. I can't deal with this anymore," she said staring blankly straight ahead. _

_I began to walk away but I heard her lean forward and place her face in her hands. I turned around to watch her shoulders shake gently as she sobbed. She looked up and furiously wiped her tears, "Go, Damon! Dammit just go and leave me. Everyone leaves me."_

_She rested her back, clearly tired and faced the window away from me, unwilling to watch my back disappear from sight._

_I couldn't believe myself as I took one step after another until I reached the stupid couch and sat down next to her, leaning my head on her shoulder._

"_Scoot," I said obnoxiously_

"_Go away," she said stubbornly still refusing to look at me._

"_Sorry, can't." I replied, pressing my head down on her shoulder a bit more_

"_Because Stefan said so?" she asked snidely, her voice trembling slightly at the mention of his name_

"_Because Lexi said so," I replied_

* * *

I felt the door behind me even though the person was trying to be stealthy. Someone should remind him about vampire senses.

"Switched your overnight bag with your vampire hunting one again?" I asked without turning around, "Go back inside, I'm sure no one will notice you were wearing the same clothes as yesterday."

"It would be simpler to just give her a dog, Salvatore." Alaric said as he went down the steps and faced me

"Yeah, but it won't be as cute as me, so…" I said shrugging my shoulders at him, "what can you do?"

Alaric rolled his eyes and walked down the path before stopping. He turned his head to face me, "I can't figure you out. I know your history, with your brother, with Katherine and I don't get it."

"I'm too complicated for your class Mr. Teacher. I doubt you have enough time in a school year to figure _me_ out." I said lazily

"Why aren't you out there, doing what you're supposed to do?" he asked

"Duh, I'm outside and I'm doing what I want to do. Get to the point Alaric, don't have all day. Well _I_ do, but _you_ have school."

"You want _this_?_"_ he said taken aback, gesturing around the empty yard.

I didn't reply, which he took as an invitation to extend the inquisition by the questions I can't seem to get out of my head.

"I thought you wanted Katherine, why aren't you running around chasing after her? You're telling me you'd rather wait out here in the cold, doing virtually nothing, than going after the love of your life? I thought you said you'll go another 200 years before stopping?"

I stared at him, unwilling to take the bait. He was waiting for an answer and I could only give a single name. It's an answer no one is ready to hear just yet, not even me.

"Hey, look at that, sun's up. Time to get some shut-eye or get drunk, what do you think? It's the second one, yeah, it's Tuesday," I said ignoring his questions completely, "I'd walk you home but I think we should take it slow, you know? We're just not there yet Alaric, maybe in a few months."

I walked off, knowing Alaric was shaking his head at my back. I didn't care. He can think I'm a manipulative monster and it won't matter. I still won't answer.

I won't make the same mistake. Next time I wear my heart on a sleeve, in case I hit my head and find myself spewing out the truth at random moments, I'll make sure I have the right girl in front of me. She should hear it from me, and not from Alaric or her psychotic biological mother Isobel. Elena deserves to know, someday, that every night I plot ways to find Katherine and separate her from my brother in a number of violent ways. But those plans are washed away when I hear the steady beat of her heart next to me, reminding me of the point of all this—to keep her alive, safe and whole. And I can never walk away from that.

Lexi was right. Damn, the girl was right.


	3. Pretend your heart was never broken

**Break, mend and shatter**

**Disclaimer: The characters and other things from The Vampire Diaries don't belong to me. Credit goes to the rightful owners.**

**Chapter 2: Pretend your heart was never broken**

_**Elena**_

"You're here early," I said as I went up the porch, raising my eyebrows at Damon, who was just coming out through the front door

"No, _you_ are late," he replied with an exaggerated sigh, "So, thanks to you we're both late."

"Enlighten me, oh wise one," I replied with a bow, matching his tone

"We're overdue for a time-out," he said making the matching hand gesture, "so let's go. I'm proud to say, this time it's even Jenna-approved and it's more than five minutes." Damon said gesturing to my aunt who stood by the door watching us.

"All true," Jenna said with a shrug, "Although, I'm already beginning to feel the onset of regret so I would suggest you march upstairs and pack before I change my mind."

I knitted my eyebrows in confusion as Damon rolled his eyes and placed both hands on my shoulders and steered me inside.

"You heard her. Go," he said in an exaggerated whisper, "before she finds out I'm gonna get you drunk and wild this weekend."

"But where are we going? How long? What do I need?" I asked in confusion, dropping the act completely

"Anything, everything, just throw in whatever is comfortable, or not, we won't attend any balls Princess." Damon said releasing me, making a shooing motion for me to go

I went inside my room and grabbed my overnight bag, stuffing it with my toiletries, a few shirts, pants and what the heck, a swimsuit. Their voices drifted up the steps and I stood by the top of the stairs unseen, listening to them.

"You'll keep her safe?" Jenna asked Damon, for what seemed like the nth time

"Yes." Damon said, a seriousness in his voice I've heard only a few times before

"Can I trust you?" she continued

"Yes," Damon replied again with the same tone

I heard Jenna sigh before she addressed Damon again, "She needs this Damon."

"I know," he said automatically

"She needs _you._" Jenna said softly, "I know that and it's the only reason I'm letting her go. Don't make me regret it. Please."

"Ready!" I yelled from my spot, breaking the moment, bounding down the stairs just in time to see Damon nod his head gravely to Jenna

I gave my aunt a hug goodbye, "Thanks Jenna." I whispered softly

"You're welcome," she said back, pulling me tighter, she whispered back, "Keep him safe, he needs you too."

I pulled away, a smile on my face as I shook my head as Jenna basically told me she knew I was eavesdropping. I wondered briefly if there was still anyone in this world I could fool convincingly.

Damon took my bag from and slung it over his shoulder as we walked to his car. He opened the door for me and leaned his head in after I settled in my seat, "Vacation starts now Elena, wipe away whatever traces of sadness is on your face. As of this moment, you have no problems."

I rolled my eyes and waved one last time to Jenna as we pulled away from the house.

"I think she likes me," Damon started, "not like _like _but you know what I mean."

"Don't even think about it," I said with a playful warning in my voice

"Jealous?" he teased

"No!" I huffed and looked out the window, a smile creeping on my face a few seconds later.

Damon laughed, a real and uninhibited one, free of any burden or darkness.

"Riiiight," he said, "Don't worry, I think she has cooties. So, I'll stick with you. Plus, you have nice smelling hair and that's always a plus in your favor."

"Wow, how flattering," I said back, "So where are we going?"

"Patience, Elena. Just relax, pick out the music and just watch the scenery," Damon said with a flourish of his hand

The beat of the song was infectious and a few seconds later his humming infected me until we were singing loudly

"But I would walk five hundred miles, and I would walk five hundred more!" we sang together, in sync but horribly out of tune, the laughter bursting out of us so easily, "to be the man who walked 1000 miles to fall down at your door!"

The scenery outside changed as rapidly as the songs we sang along to. We went on, talking and joking until the laughter died and silence reigned, "Go to sleep Elena, I'll wake you when we get there."

Of course, he didn't. I felt the car stop, the door opening and then his arms gently lifting me out of my seat. In my half-asleep state, I forgot to care and sighed softly against his chest, snuggling closer to him and feeling the safest I'd been in a long while. Next thing I knew I was on a soft bed and his lips pressed lightly on my forehead, just for a few seconds, before he said good night followed by a string of words I chose not to hear.

* * *

I woke up disoriented, wondering why the paint on my bedroom ceiling was peeling and why it was a shade of gray I did not recognize. It took me a few seconds to realize I was on Damon's idea of a break and _he_ was nowhere to be found.

In a slight panic I got up and realized that Damon had stuck a post-it on my forehead.

"_I'm just outside, don't panic. There's food on the table, come out when you feel like it." _

Grumbling, I crumpled up the note and then smoothed it out before stuffing it in my pocket. I shuffled to a door that seemed to lead to a bathroom to clean up. I looked at the mirror and saw another note on it.

"_You drool when you sleep. It's cute but you might want to wash it off. Just kidding, you slept like a baby—minus the diapers and the drooling."_

I shook my head and tucked the note along with the other one. After I finished up, I went to the table where breakfast was laid out, another post it stuck on the glass of juice.

"_No pulp. Waffles and bacon for the sleepyhead. You owe me a song and dance for sleeping on the ride over or you drive all the way home."_

I rolled my eyes in annoyance but I think my smile said otherwise. Note #3 was folded neatly and put away with the rest.

'"Mmmm," I said perfectly content, wondering if could bottle up this feeling and keep it with me to use another day when I really need it. Damon was a good cook but this was a reaction to something else I was not ready to deal with.

I shook my head furiously as if I could prevent my thoughts from shooting off in that direction easily. I took my time and busied myself with washing up the dishes to get a handle on how I was feeling. But my plate, fork and glass took all of 5 minutes to wash and dry.

'Here goes nothing,' I said to myself as I took a deep breath and opened the door to go outside.

Breathtaking couldn't even begin to describe it. The beach was pristine, the sky was clear as it framed the sun quite nicely, and the blue water stretched out into the horizon calmly. It was as blue as Damon's eyes.

Damon.

My heart constricted in panic when I remembered he was supposed to be 'right outside' and I couldn't find him. I looked around frantically, internally freaking out as I thought whether or not he was already ashes spread out on the sand.

And then I saw him, just a few meters from the small shack, his back to me as he sat on the sand, legs stretched out in front of him.

I let out a small sigh of relief, and I swore I thought I saw his shoulders shake in laughter. I narrowed my eyes and stalked to where he was, fully prepared to berate him for mocking me.

I lost the will to do so when I got close enough to see him, eyes closed and perfectly calm. Seeing him like that, I almost forgot he was a vampire. And I almost forgot he had a brother.

I sat down next to him in silence, watching him and waiting for him to open his eyes.

"I know I'm handsome Elena," he said after a minute, "But it's rude to stare."

I punched him on the shoulder and he laughed as he pulled me in his arms, and then used his other hand to mess up my hair.

I tried to push him away, "Hey!" I protested but I suppose not with enough anger behind it because he kept his arm around me as he smoothed down my hair.

"Better?" he asked still laughing.

I grunted in response but didn't move away. Instead, losing my mind and a little bit of my sanity, I moved closer to him and leaned on his chest.

He rolled his eyes and pressed his lips on the top of my head, a light touch that brought back the contentment I felt earlier. It seemed like I didn't need to save some for a rainy day, I just needed to keep Damon around for however long I can, to make all moments feel like this.

"Where is this exactly?" I asked after a few moments

"Never you mind," Damon said, "You're safe here, that's all you need to know. And I told Jenna the exact location so they can find your body someday."

"Will you ever give me a serious answer?" I asked him, frustration evident in my tone

"Fine, you get three questions and I'll behave." Damon responded

"Why did you pick this place?" I asked.

"It's the only place I can pretend to be human," he said after a while, pulling me closer but his voice already far away, "It's open, no place to hide behind or dark corners. You just exist in the middle of it all. Don't you feel like the world just falls away with every second you're here? And with that out of the way, this is my blank slate. I can be whoever I need to be."

"And you need to be human?" I said connecting some dots on my own

"Ah, question number 2," he said as I started to protest, "Fine, you get another one but no more follow ups later. Anyway, yes there are times when I feel like I need to be human, when I want to simplify my life. But the feeling passes, it always does. I've accepted what I've become, that's that. I can't protect you if I weren't what I am."

I closed my eyes and swallowed, pushing down the emotions that were threatening to break my voice, "Why are you here…with me? I mean, why haven't you left?"

"Like I said, you're not the worst company in the world Elena," he said

"Serious answer please, you promised." I shot back

"Have I kept all my promises, missy?" he answered mockingly

"Always…" I said softly, the honesty of my answer getting to him

Damon sighed, his hand absently playing with a strand of my hair, "Fine. It's simple. I don't want you dead. If that's not serious enough, I want you breathing, heart beating, all major organs functioning, which is basically alive and happy."

"More than you want to go after Katherine?" I asked finally breaking the unspoken agreement to never mention her or Stefan unless absolutely necessary

He took a deep breath and pulled me closer, his other arm encircling me as well, "That night, before you or she-who-must-never-be-named got to the house, Stefan planted the germ of an idea in my mind—you, lifeless and not the kind that comes back as a vampire. Just plain old dead, and I couldn't handle it. It was the only thing that stopped me from going after them the second they went out the door, because for me to keep my head from exploding with that in my mind was to see you alive and know you're safe. Running after the awesome twosome wouldn't have accomplished that."

He sighed again before he continued, his voice getting deeper as he battled with becoming vulnerable, "Elena, I'm here because that image is still there every single moment I exist, and I need make sure it stays a nightmare and not reality. So for my well-being, could you please be more careful with the people you become friends with? Let me be the last dangerous person in your life."

I shut my eyes tight wanting to keep the tears sealed in, and just focused on breathing. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale—I kept the pattern as it calmed me, then his arms slowly loosened around me.

"What did you say that night, when you thought you kissed me, when _she _pretended to be me?" I asked, finally finding my voice as I remembered the moment when he released me from his embrace

"That's question number 5, Elena, not part of the deal," he said, one side of his mouth turned up, "Besides," he continued turning serious again, "I don't think you're ready to hear that just yet."

He stood up and dusted off, and held out his hand to me, "Enough talk. Time for fun."

I placed my hand in his, "Define fun, Damon."

He rolled his eyes, "If I have to define it, then it most likely isn't fun."

In a second, I was literally swept off my feet and Damon carried me off to the water, dropping me as ungracefully as possible.

"Damon!" I protested flailing around in the water unable to get my footing, "You could have let me change first! I have a swimsuit!"

"Whatever. It's more fun this way. Well, more fun for _me_ but those are just details," he said smiling down at me, "Relax, be more spontaneous Elena."

I glared at him and then proceeded to knock him down by pushing on the back of his knees. He fell down laughing, a sound I still wasn't used to hearing from him. It wiped away any traces of exasperation I had and I just laughed along with him.

He picked me up by the waist and spun me around, water spraying around everywhere, my shrieking the only sound heard for miles. He dropped me again and I stood up quickly this time, jumped on his back, and placed my arms around his neck. I looked at him and saw that my own happiness was mirrored in his eyes. It surprised me to see him this way, as if it were the most natural thing for him to be bathed in sunlight. There was no darkness in this Damon, and in this moment, I could only see his humanity.

We ran around, built sandcastles (well, we tried to replicate monuments actually but failed miserably), gorged on the food he brought and just completely lost track of time. It was only after sunset that we stopped long enough to start a bonfire and sit in front of it. And for the first time during the day, we were next to each other but surprisingly no part of us touching.

"Do we have more of those cookies?" I asked looking around

"You finished it all, Elena, you didn't even share," Damon said pretending to be hurt, but obviously pleased I liked what he baked, "See, now I'm hungry I might just eat you."

It was my turn to roll my eyes, "Sorry Damon, not afraid of you, that ship sailed when I saw you choosing between semi-sweet and milk chocolate chips for those cookies."

He crossed his arms in front of him and huffed, "Next time you don't get any."

"Ooooh, now I'm scared," I said back

He shook his head and smirked at me, "You know you're so brave now but where was that when I was teaching you how to ride a bike? All grown up and can't even pedal to save her life. What a shame…"

"The bike was at fault, the wheels were all wrong." I replied with narrowed eyes

"They're called TRAINING wheels, Elena." Damon said sarcastically

I reached out to punch him but he grabbed my hand instead and pulled it up to his chest, holding it there as his other hand went around me.

"Don't injure yourself trying to hit me, or I won't catch you next time you fall of your bike, _with_ training wheels," he said

"Hmph," the little sound the only thing I could get out if I wanted to keep in the smile I was fighting hard against

"And I'm not putting any more songs in your iPod," I said finally, though a bit late to count as a comeback, "Seriously, Damon, it's not that hard to do."

"I have better ways of making use of my time," he said winking at me suggestively, pulling me in closer as I shivered

He took off his jacket and placed it on my shoulders quietly before placing his arm around me again, "We should have brought a ski jacket for you. Why in the world do you get so cold easily? Or do you just want me to hug you?"

"The last one because you're so cuuuute!" I exclaimed, my voice dripping with sarcasm as I pinched his cheeks

"Haha," he said swatting my hands away, "very funny."

I pulled away from him, a smirk on my face this time, "That's all you have? 'very funny'? Wow, you're losing your touch."

Damon smiled and tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear, "It's just because we're here, don't get used to it."

The gesture sent a surge of warmth throughout my body and I tilted my head to stare at him.

"What?" he said, "Didn't I already tell you that it's rude to do that?"

I took a deep breath and reached out to encircle his waist with my arms, placing my ear against his chest as if I were listening for a heartbeat I would never find. I knew it was there, and that was enough.

I felt his surprise at my gesture, and it took him a few seconds to respond. His limbs enveloped me and his chin rested on top of my head.

"When did we get so normal?" I thought to myself, only realizing I said it aloud when Damon spoke

"What do you mean Elena?"

"Other than your blood drinking from a bag, fine poured into a scotch glass, we're a school dance away from forgetting only one of us has a pulse." I said, "Think about it Damon. All this time, we've done fairly normal things. Talk, eat, drink, read, and basically just have fun. I haven't had that since my parents died."

Damon shrugged and looked at me intensely, "Does it have to be a school dance? Come on, get up."

"What?"

"That word has been overused in the past 24 hours. We both need to stop saying it. Now, get up and dance with me."

"No music?"

He looked around dramatically then back at me, "I don't see anyone complaining," he said taking both my hands and placing them around his neck, while his circled my waist.

"So, how close are we to normal now?" he whispered in my ear

"Close enough," I whispered back as we started to dance to a song only the two of us could hear

_Someone told me that love would all save us.  
But how can that be?  
Look what love gave us.  
A world full of killing, and blood-spilling, that world never came _

"Elena?" he said uncharacteristically uncertain

"Yeah?"

"I think you're ready to hear it now." Damon said simply

_And they say that a hero can save us.  
I'm not gonna stand here and wait.  
I'll hold on to the wings of the eagles.  
Watch as we all fly away._

"That night, I said that I wasn't a good man. I'm not a hero, not like you, my brother or Bonnie. She helped him save me, even if she had every reason not to."

"She had one." I replied softly, knowing fully well what fueled Bonnie that night as she held my hand, using energy from it as she chanted the words that tamed the fire

Damon leaned back to look at me, curiosity clear in his eyes as he stared at me, "And what would that be?"

"Me. I needed you to be saved. Even if I didn't know why." I said quietly, "I _need __**you**__."_

It wasn't quite a response to the words he said to me last night, when he thought I was already asleep, but it was the best I had for now.

_Now that the world isn't ending, it's love that I'm sending to you.  
It isn't the love of a hero, that's why I fear it won't do._

"Thank you," Damon whispered, "that's what I said that night. It's what I say every night you're alive."

I held onto him, as tight as I could, and closed my eyes in a prayer to have this last a little longer than forever. It was as if I knew it wouldn't.

Damon's phone rang, a noisy intruder, blaring as if it wouldn't rest until it was picked up.

His face darkened as he kept his eyes on me, his face set, jaw clenched tightly.

I didn't need the details; I knew we would be speeding back to Mystic Falls that night, that my little piece of a good thing was now gone.

I knew someone I cared about was being used as bait.

I knew some sacrifices will have to be made.

I knew, without a doubt, that Damon will be there protecting me or die trying.

But there was one truth I wanted to deny—I knew Katherine wasn't dead but she was going to make sure that I will be. And knowing Stefan was either dead or with her, to never return to me, already killed something inside me.

* * *

A/N: Song they were singing to was 500 Miles by the Proclaimers and the one they danced to is "Hero" by Chad Kroeger feat. Josey Scott. Hope you liked this chapter and thanks for all the reviews so far!


	4. It's a long way to nowhere

**Break, mend and shatter**

**Disclaimer: The characters and other things from The Vampire Diaries don't belong to me. Credit goes to the rightful owners.**

**Chapter 3: It's a long way to nowhere**

_**Damon **_

I should have thrown away my phone, crushed it under a rock or ran over it with my car. The ringtone sounded eerily like it was telling me this was all too good to be true. It was.

But like a good little boy, I made sure Elena's family had a way of reaching us not matter how much I wanted to be completely isolated with her. For crying out loud, I'm a vampire and supposedly instinctively selfish. Yet here I am, on the phone with Elena's brother and more than just a little concerned that everything is not a-ok back in Mystic Falls.

"Damon, is Elena there? Something's happened. Jenna…well she's missing," Jeremy said over the phone uneasily, as if he was worried that someone was listening.

I was about to hand over the phone to Elena but she shook her head, lips drawn in a thin line and fists clenched in a tight ball.

"Yeah she's with me. She's fine but she's not up to talking. Before you get into any details, is someone with you?" I asked not taking my eyes off Elena

"Uh, yeah Alaric, but he's been stabbed, I wanted to call 911 but he insisted I call you," Jeremy replied, his voice wary

"Does he have his ugly ring on?" I said as I watched Elena pale ever so slightly in front of me

"Yes," he answered

"Good, he'll be fine," I continued, my eyes trained on Elena, "Do not, under any circumstances, let anyone in. Call Bonnie and tell her to go to your house. She can protect you for now. Do not pick her up; she has to come to you. You do not leave the house for ANY reason. Stay put and get hold of any weapon there, I'm sure the teacher is loaded with them. We'll be there as soon as possible. Call me if anything happens."

"Yeah, thanks man. Look I know it's just wasted effort, but tell my sister not to worry too much." Jeremy said before the line went silent

I let my hand drop to my side as I watched Elena carefully. She stared back at me, her eyes full of anxiety, "I thought you said we had more than five minutes this time?"

I exhaled loudly and pulled her into a tight embrace, "I know but I'd rather take that away from you than someone from your life. Get your things and we'll go."

Elena nodded mutely and headed towards the small shack. Seeing the change in her, literally within seconds, made me want to run off and just tear the limbs of those responsible for this.

I settled for the next best thing—I put out the fire and watched as it flickered before completely dying in front of me. At least some things remain simple, and when they die they stay that way. It's better to be in the darkness anyway. I needed to believe that but after a day like this one with Elena, I wasn't so sure I bought it.

Elena stepped out and stood beneath the moonlight, bag in hand, and a lost look in her eyes. She was made for the light but the darkness keeps shadowing her in like a curse, like always, and like it never should be.

"Jeremy asked me to tell you not worry," I called out as I walked towards her

"You know that's impossible." Elena said, all the humor now gone from her voice

"I know, but he asked me to tell you, so I said it," I said with a shrug as I took the bags from her

"When did you learn to follow what other people tell you to do?" she said with one eyebrow raised, the shadow of a smile on one corner of her lips

"When I need you to not freak out on me on the ride home," I said opening the car door for her, reaching out and putting the seatbelt on her.

"I'm not fragile Damon," she said unlocking the seatbelt before putting it back on in defiance, just to show she could do it.

I rolled my eyes at her, "I'm not taking my chances, not with you, not ever. Keep it on."

I started the car and backed out into the street, headlights flooding the road before us. I reached out to turn on the radio but Elena's hand stopped mine. She shook her head and looked out the window, but it didn't escape me that she didn't let go of my hand. She kept it clasped with hers on her lap.

"You know that's not safe right?" I asked her, "I do need to shift gears, you know."

"Please, Damon, be serious with me just a bit longer." Elena pleaded, "Just…just don't let go unless you have to."

I nodded, somehow knowing that request wasn't just for this night, "I won't. Get some rest. You'll need your energy when we get there."

She nodded in response but looked out the window, lost in thought and anxiety. I wanted to take her pain, compel her into forgetting. It would be so much easier for us. I could run away with her and she'd never even know what she left behind.

But as tears fell down her face, the only thing I could do was reach out and wipe them away. The monster inside me remained to be a caged beast, silenced by my need to be a better version of myself to be worthy of my place in her life.

It took about two hours before she stopped crying and finally fell asleep. I slowly tried to take my hand away but she tugged it back, keeping it in hers and I couldn't help but smile. If only we were under better circumstances, I'd have pretended it meant something. But I couldn't lie to myself anymore than I could to Elena.

I listened to her breathing and the rhythm of her heart, steady and peaceful until she let out an ear-splitting shriek as she practically threw away my hand.

"Noooooooooo!" she wailed, her eyes wide open in fright

"Elena!" I called out, "Talk to me."

"Stop the car! Damon, stop the freaking car!" she yelled

"All right, all right, calm down Elena." I said trying to appease her, slowing down the car on the side of the road.

The moment I pulled over, she was out the door, slamming it behind her, poised to run. But I was, and always will be, faster, so I blocked her path and held her in place by her arms.

"Hold it. What did I say about not freaking out?" I said my eyes narrowed at her, wondering what was going on in her head

"Damon, let me go." Elena said with a fury burning in her, slowly boiling into rage

"No," I shot back, "If I recall correctly, you made me promise not to. What the hell is going on Elena? We're almost there and you choose _now_ to go crazy? Or do you just want to make a run for it? Cause in case you've forgotten, I can outrun you any day of the week, just try me."

"They're all dead Damon! I saw them, all the graves lined up, one after the other and I'm the only one left standing." Elena shouted back

"It was a nightmare Elena!" I told her as I kept my grip on her, resisting the urge to shake some sense into her, "You fell asleep, you had a bad dream. But here, this right now, this is real. We're on our way back to Mystic Falls, where Jeremy is at home with Alaric, and hopefully Bonnie. We'll find Jenna and that dream of yours won't be real for another fifty odd years if I have anything to do about it. Get a grip, Elena."

"No, Damon, don't you get it?" Elena said fiercely, "It's a dream now but that's what I'll be going home to. It's inevitable, they'll all DIE and I'll watch it all happen. They'll die because of me. I'm the reason why they're in danger, I brought it into their lives. And I'm tired of fighting. I'm always running around looking for someone to save that I don't even realized I've destroyed myself in the process. I don't see the light anymore Damon, I'm just stuck in the dark and I can't get out…"

I took a deep breath, trying to get a better control of my own frustration with hearing her talk this way. I could see her give up, how torn up she was inside and it would be so easy for her enemies to catch her weak.

I was jolted by her warm hand on my cheek, forcing me to look at her. She swallowed before speaking, her eyes already begging me, "Please don't let me break. I don't know how much more I can take. Tell me to run away with you and I will."

In a second, I held her face in hands, "Look at me," I said, "Can you really just walk away? Think, Elena. Do you really want to roam the world not caring, not knowing whatever happened to your family? Elena, if that's what you want, I'll do it. We can turn around right now and go wherever you want. But you and I both know that you don't want that. You're afraid, I get it, but falling apart now will not accomplish anything. She's missing. That's all we know. Don't go through all the possibilities in your head. We need clear heads for this if we want her back. Focus, don't fade on me."

"Why does it always happen to people I care about? Just when I thought…Maybe if I never made it out of that car…" she trailed off, clearly spent, tears freely falling from her eyes.

"Do _**not**_ even go down that road, Elena. No regrets. Don't be sorry you're alive because you feel that the world is falling into a thousand tiny pieces. You can't throw away ALL the things in your life right now, because there's still some good in it. The only thing that counts right now is getting through to the next moment and the one after that. "

Elena broke free from my grasp and pushed me on the chest.

"Why should I even bother Damon? If we get her back, what if Jeremy is the next victim? Why can't we just let it end with me now?" she yelled out in frustration

"Do you even hear yourself? Have you gone insane? You're taking on the blame for all of this, what are you a walking, human plague? Why don't you take the blame for floods, earthquakes and whatever disasters out there? Elena, I love you, but the world doesn't revolve around you. You didn't do anything wrong, this is on them, whoever they are, NOT _YOU_. Don't make it easy on them by not fighting."

Elena was frozen in place, her hair billowing in the wind, as she stared at me. I wrinkled my eyebrows in confusion and replayed the last few seconds in my mind, wondering where I lost her and stunned her into silence. And then there it was.

_I love you._

I didn't even realize I said it aloud. Well, I did once before but she was catatonic so it didn't count. I guess it does now.

Elena's mouth was hanging slightly open, shaped in an 'O', as if she couldn't believe what she heard. I wish she wouldn't but as it's true, I wasn't going to take it back.

"After everything I've said, _that's_ the one thing you pick up?" I said incredulously

"Oh come on," I continued as she stood perfectly still in front of me, "as if you don't already know that."

She frowned and inclined her head slightly, still not speaking but at least her tears had dried up into messy tracks on her face.

I sighed and shook my head, stepping closer to her, wondering how it was, that even a mess like this, I still found her more beautiful than Elena 2.0, the evil version.

"I love you," I repeated, giving her a pointed look, "But that's something for later."

She remained immobile, watching me, words completely deserting her.

"So, I really need to spell it out for you huh? Is it really that hard to believe?" I said, a bit of hurt evident in my voice with the last question. I shook my head and counted off, "One, look, I'm sorry I said it because you obviously aren't ready to hear it and it's obviously not the right time to profess undying love or any kind for that matter. Two, please focus Elena, we don't have time to discuss this because someone needs a white knight or any kind of rescue mission, and you're going to want to be part of that despite your little tirade. That means you need to forget, just for a little while, that I opened my big mouth. And three, because I'm an idiot and partly insane, I'll say it again, I love you. It's that simple. Not earth-shattering, as I suspect it's been true for a while now, even if it's not been obvious to you. End of story. Get back in the car Elena."

Elena's frown deepened into a scowl as she glared at me, "One, don't ever apologize for something like that but yes I'm not ready to hear it, just like the first time you said it. I wasn't fully asleep. But I needed to know it Damon. I don't have the words to make it feel right or make anything out of it, _yet._ Give me time. Two, I'm sorry, I lost it. It's just," she paused, taking a deep breath as she balled her fists in front of her, "not right that I'm living my life looking over my shoulder for signs of trouble. I don't want this but I _will_ live with it for as long as I can. I just wish the people in my life don't have to be as paranoid as I am. Three, I don't deserve to hear it again because I don't have anything to give back and that's worth apologizing for. I'm sorry Damon."

I smiled ruefully at her, "Who said I was asking for anything? I just needed you to know. I'm all about unrequited love you know, I'm a pro."

I expected a snarky remark or a look of pity but not her arms wrapping around me and her voice muffled against my chest, "For what it's worth, right here, I think you just saved my life. Thank you."

I kissed her on the forehead, "Don't tell anyone, I have a reputation to protect. Now, can we please get back on the road?"

Elena nodded and hugged herself as she walked back to the car. I got in after her, making sure she was not going to suddenly jump out and run.

We were five minutes out when she started to talk again, "How many hours away are we now?"

"Just one," I answered quietly, both hands gripping the steering wheel, trying to control the urge to reach out to her and just pick up things right before she woke up from her nightmare

"Damon, you're going to crush the wheel if you don't loosen your grip." Elena said pointedly, one hand over mine, easing it off and placing it in hers

"Oh the lies you tell to get my hand in yours," I joked, silently thanking her for putting me out of my misery.

"Fine," she said letting go, "happy?"

"No," I said taking her hand again, "Look, sarcasm is a crappy defense mechanism and my timing pretty much sucks, but I'm just trying to distract you okay? I need you to give me the rest of this drive to at least allow you time to breathe easy. Between this point and your house, worrying your pretty little head to the loony bin won't help matters so just please try to relax while you can."

Elena nodded in acquiescence, and turned to face me, "Let's play a game. I'll ask you three questions, and you promise to be serious. Just like this morning."

"That's just a game for you Elena, not for me. I don't see me winning any prizes in that one." I said

"I didn't say it was going to be a fun game for you, " she said, "Fine, you ask three too."

"I'm so going to regret this but go ahead, rob me of my pride woman," I said with a wave of my hand

"Why are you always wearing black?" she asked, thankfully going the trivial route

"Uh, I look good in it. And it's not ALWAYS. My turn, why did you tell Jenna I was an ass, back when we had 'family night'?"

"Because I knew you could hear me, which I'm sure you already figured out," she said with a satisfied smile, "and because it was true at the time. And excuse me, you always wear black."

"Yes I knew, but confirmation is always good." I replied simply, "And I'll wear blue one of these days to prove you wrong."

"Okay, how did Isobel know that you loved me?" she asked quickly, as if it would make the question less serious or shocking for that matter

"_Love_ you," I corrected her, "Present tense, not past. Simple, I slammed her on the floor and told her she can't come waltzing in and threatening people I care about. In short, I basically told her. My turn again, in Atlanta, why did you beg for my life?"

"I didn't beg," she started to protest

"Oh, I believe you used that word," I said

"Fine, I don't know," she said, "it's the truth, lame as it sounds. I just acted on instinct, I remembered what Lexi said and I went with it. I couldn't walk away."

"Dangerous ground you're treading there Elena," I said quietly, "I'm guessing Lexi told you that with you and brother dear in mind, not me. You're supposed to walk away from me, Elena."

"You really don't see yourself clearly Damon," she said with wonder in her voice, "You don't get it—how I always run _**to**_ you and _**why**_. Because I never could turn my back on you, whether it was for your crazy schemes to open that damn tomb or someone trying to burn you; and I don't intend to start anytime, _ever_."

"Last question Elena, make it count," I said softly, not knowing what to make of what she said

"If _she_ asked you to go instead, would you have left?" Elena said quietly

"I was obsessed with her, Elena, for over a hundred years, I would have gone, so it's a yes," I answered honestly, "_BUT_ I'm glad she didn't or I wouldn't be stuck in a car with you, answering all these wonderfully thought-provoking questions. And we're down to the end of our little game, my last question is—would it matter to you if I did end up leaving with the evil queen bitch?"

"We're here," she said abruptly, looking out the window, watching for movement in the house

I parked and turned off the engine, believing the game to be over, thinking she probably wouldn't answer anymore, but Elena always managed to catch me off guard.

"Stefan would have been around to numb the pain, but it would matter because it would have broken something inside me." Elena said as she was halfway out the door.

I followed suit and walked up the porch steps after her, when the door swung open, a woman standing inside, smiling at us with a wicked glint in her eyes.

"Well, I guess I shouldn't be surprised to find you together. You took too long though. But never mind that. Welcome home, darling daughter."

Elena's eyes widened as she whispered the name,

"Isobel."


	5. Believe but don't trust

**Break, mend and shatter**

**Disclaimer: The characters and other things from The Vampire Diaries don't belong to me. Credit goes to the rightful owners.**

**Chapter 4: Believe but don't trust**

_**Elena**_

"Isobel."

The name felt strange coming off my lips. It felt unnatural to say yet the sound that reached my ears seemed so familiar, like it was always a part of me. Thankfully, my thoughts were interrupted by Damon pulling me sharply behind him, acting as a barrier between me and Isobel, his hand protectively in front of me.

"What did I tell you about coming into my town?" Damon asked, jaw clenched in barely suppressed anger

"Relax, Damon," Isobel said still smiling, "I haven't threatened Elena or anyone for that matter. Besides, we're on the same side, like always."

"I doubt that," Damon spat out, "Haven't you heard? Katherine already skipped town."

"Oh, I'm not on her side now," Isobel said, tilting her head to peak at me, "I'm talking about _that_ one."

"Leave her alone," Damon growled threateningly, making a move closer to Isobel but holding me back with one hand

"My, my," Isobel said her eyes shining with amusement, "Elena, what have you done that's got him so smitten."

In a split second, Damon's hand was on Isobel's neck, lifting her up by a foot off the ground.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't take off your head with my bare hands right now," he said full of loathing

"Damon!" Alaric called out in alarm, "Put her down. She's here to help."

"Wrong answer, teacher, that's not good enough," Damon said tightening his grip on Isobel, "For all we know Katherine sent her here."

"Hey man," Jeremy said standing next to Alaric, "Look he's telling the truth, she actually took out the vamps who tried to break in before Bonnie got here."

"What? The house is sealed," I asked finally finding my voice, "They have to be invited and even they know that. Why would they even try to break in?"

"They have a witch with them Elena," Alaric said, "They stripped the house down of magic; Bonnie just got it back up."

Damon glanced at me, leaving the decision to me. I gave him a small nod and he rolled his eyes, before proceeding to throw Isobel against the stairs.

"You even _think_ about giving Elena so much as a paper cut and I will end you," Damon said to Isobel before stalking off into the living room.

Isobel rubbed her neck and glared at Damon's back before turning to me, "He's melodramatic today. Tell me Elena, is he still missing Katherine or have you really managed to fill that void in his dead heart?"

"Shut up," I said following Damon, "if you want to help, you shut the hell up and you do not taunt Damon about Katherine or Stefan. Otherwise, just go."

Isobel stood up silently but just before she passed me, she turned and said, "Interesting, I expected him to be protective of you but I didn't think you had it in you."

Alaric caught my eye before I did anything that would aggravate the situation, "Let it go," he mouthed to me.

Instead I turned my attention to my brother and gave him a hug, "Jeremy, are you okay?"

"Yes, look Elena, she only acted up when you got here but she really was trying to help earlier," Jeremy began, "she saved me back there. Give her a chance."

"Don't trust her, Jeremy, she's dangerous. You don't know…" I said trailing off unable to tell him

"She's your mother," Jeremy said understanding, "She told me. She's the one who told me not to call you after we got everything settled around here, to give you a few more hours of peace. She's been staring out that window waiting for you."

"She gave birth to me, Jeremy, that's it. She's not my mother," I said bitterly

"Look, forget what I said, think of Jenna. We need all the help we can get," he said, "these vamps, they've got this all planned out. We need every advantage we can get, even the dubious ones."

I closed my eyes and nodded to my brother, letting him lead me into the living room where Damon and Isobel stood facing each other from opposite ends of the room.

Damon automatically moved close to me, keeping himself between me and Isobel, glaring at her in the process. In turn, Isobel gave him a withering look and turned to Alaric, "Well, care to share with the rest of the class. Some of us need to catch up."

"We were out on a date, she left to go to the ladies room and she just didn't come back. Checked with people there and someone said they saw her leave with another guy by the back entrance so I went out and the next thing I knew I was stabbed. I came here wondering maybe Jenna got away but instead I found this note stuck on your door."

_Get Elena back here, and then we'll talk._

"Then I called you guys, then Bonnie," Jeremy started, "but before she got here, there were like three vampires trying to break down the door. Alaric was still down and I had like one stake. One of them managed to get the window open and grab me, but Isobel managed to take him down and the rest of them."

"They have powerful magic Elena," Bonnie said quietly in disbelief, "That spell I put on your house? It's not a joke; I used one of Emily's spells for that. They would have called on magic at least just as old to break it down. I can't even locate Jenna; they have her cloaked pretty well. The only thing I can tell is that she's still alive but she could well be miles away by now or just right next door."

I turned to Isobel, "And what's your story?"

"I believe the right question is _why_ I'm here, Elena, "she answered, "Simple. I know what they will ask for and I want it. Give it to me and I'll get your precious Jenna back for you."

"No thanks," Damon said, "I'm sure we can manage without you. Run along, Isobel."

"Don't be arrogant Damon, surely you know whose hand is pulling the strings, and you can't possibly be that blind or stupid." Isobel countered

"I _know_ her better than you," he hissed back, "we don't need you for that."

"No Damon, you were obsessed with her but you never really saw what a manipulative and scheming bitch she really is," Isobel said bluntly, "I hate to say it but you're a loose end and she's going to tie you up nicely before this is all over. Same goes for you Elena, and everything else that's attached to you. She'll wipe out this town without getting her hands dirty. It's always been her plan. All she had to do was get Stefan out before letting her minions start their work."

"And you're telling us, you figured this ALL out and _you're_ the key to saving the day," Damon said matter-of-factly

"Yes," she responded with certainty, "What? You think one vampire, one teacher, two rather frail humans and Sabrina the teenage witch, are enough against Katherine's mercenaries? Damon, you should know, she only picks the best—those who won't fail her."

"Look, whatever it is she wants, we can just give it, get Jenna back and figure things out from there," I said looking around the room

"Oh, you wouldn't want this in her hands," Isobel said

"Why not? Whatever it is, it's not more important than saving Jenna," I said

"Well no, unless you have a death wish," Isobel said blandly, "Darling, are you suicidal?"

She laughed, with no humor in it, and shook her head, "You've known, no, you've seen that Elena is the exact replica of Katherine and you never even bothered to ask why? What, you all just assumed she's just a genetic anomaly that somehow got replicated along the line? Did you really think it was just some freakish coincidence?"

"We don't have time for a lesson on genetics Isobel, get to the point," Damon said impatiently

"Katherine is extremely powerful, unnaturally so, even for a vampire. Emily could see that and she did something logical but utterly forbidden—use magic to find a match Katherine and destroy her. She planted a curse on Katherine's family line, making sure that when the time was right, an equal would be born. Granted, she didn't exactly have to be _quite _literal about it, but she was an effective witch was she not? We do have a doppelganger in our midst, in more ways than one. Emily made sure power would grow in our blood through the generations, and that's why Katherine sought me out. She wanted to make sure it wasn't me, considering I'm the first vampire after her in our history. Why do you think she was so desperate to get Stefan away from you? It's not _only_ because she fancies herself in love with him. But because he would turn you eventually, so you can spend eternity together."

"I don't believe you," I said hoarsely, "if that were the case, she wouldn't leave Damon behind. He can very well do the same thing, right?"

"Because I won't turn you," Damon said quietly, eyes trained on the floor, "Katherine knew you would never ask because you don't have a reason anymore to live forever with Stefan gone, you'd want to die—now, later or just someday. She knew I wouldn't force it on you because the night I thought she was you, I basically told her I'd go against my very nature to _protect_ you. Turning you doesn't fall under that category."

"Well, she's wrong," I said fiercely, thinking back to the hours before, the ones I spent with Damon—free and just happy. What I would give more a thousand more of those days—eternity, air, and every single heartbeat in me.

"_Obviously._" Isobel interrupted, "She realized it too, considering _someone_ failed to chase her down, after committing to freeing her from a tomb, an act more than a century in the making. Hence the escalation of Plan B, since you know, Plan A of letting you die naturally is only a bleak possibility at best right now." Isobel said, "Anyway, she wants the Code. It's sacred to all witches, even if few really believe in its existence after all this time. It has the spells to undo every other one ever cast, by any witch, even the most powerful one. And by undo, I mean obliterate every single by-product of that spell—translation: me, you and every other person out there with a share of our DNA."

"So you want to save your life," Alaric said staring hard at her, "and if we fail on the other parts of this little plan, and say Jenna dies, you won't exactly be devastated. What guarantee do we have that once we get you that book, you'll keep your end of the bargain?"

"You don't." Isobel said flatly, "Look, keep it and give it me after, I don't care. I'm just going to destroy the damn thing anyway. Don't read into the rest of it, why I'm doing this at all. Just try and trust me this once. I'll get your Jenna back. I won't leave you lonely Alaric or Elena without a guardian for that matter."

"You would destroy it?" Bonnie said aghast, her excitement with such a find tainted by Isobel's plan

"It's dangerous in _anyone's_ hands, even you witch, no matter how good you are. It will be too tempting especially for someone who can wield its words," she said shaking her head, "Look are we doing this or not? I know who they are, how they operate, and possibly where they lurk. You on the other hand have the book. See how even that trade will be?"

"Problem," I pointed out, "we don't have the book, let alone know where to find it."

"You really don't pay attention Elena, that's why you're so easily twisted around," Isobel said slightly disgusted, "Jenna knows where it is, even if she doesn't know what it is. Why do you think they took her and not depressed boy wonder here? Your parents' death meant she was entrusted with everything that came with the family—all the buried secrets that even the town council don't have a clue about. John Gilbert was entrusted with the knowledge but your aunt was the one who had access to all these things, because she wouldn't know how to use it."

"I still don't trust you," Damon said darkly

"You don't have to, but Elena does, and if she does that will be good enough for you," Isobel said turning to me

I took a deep breath and reached out to squeeze Damon's hand quickly before standing up to Isobel, looking her straight in the eye.

"_We_ destroy the book together_ after_ we get Jenna back, then you're out of our lives for good. Come back and I'll make sure I stake you in the heart myself."

The corner of Isobel's mouth turned up and she offered her hand to me. I shook her hand, gripping it tightly, wondering if I imagined her eyes soften slightly at my touch.

"Look, Elena I don't know about this…" Damon started as the phone rang, interrupting him.

"Answer it and we'll find out if you can really trust me." Isobel challenged, pulling back her hand and crossing her arms in front of her.

I picked up the phone and pressed it to my ear, "Hello?"

"Ah, welcome home. I trust you had a nice vacation, albeit quite short," said the male voice from the other end, "My sincere apologies for having to get you to come home so soon."

"Who is this?" I asked

"Not important. But I do believe you know this woman I have in my custody, your Aunt Jenna?" he said, overly polite

"What do you want?"

"Oh, hold on, I think Jenna can help you there," he said putting her on the phone

"Elena?" Jenna said calmly

"Jenna! Are you okay? Did they hurt you?" I asked frantically

"I'm fine, just a bit 'tied' up," she said laughing nervously, trying to comfort me when she was the one in danger, "Look, they just want this old antique book your father used to own. It's in a lock box in the bank. I have the key in my dresser. Look, Elena, your father made me promise to give that to you someday and you don't have to-"

"Oh sorry I had to cut her off. The rest of what she was trying to say is not within the parameters of our negotiation. Good thing your father is dead so he can't object. So, you have the key, you'll get the book and give it to us, in exchange for your aunt. Remember, we need the ENTIRE thing, no ripping out pages please or you get your aunt in a similar state—in pieces. We'll start with her eyes, quite lovely, would be a shame if she lost them. Goodbye now. Send our regards to the history teacher and apologies for his ruined date."

I listened to the tone until Damon slowly pried the phone out of my hand and clicked it off, putting his arms around me.

"He was just exaggerating, that's not going to happen, I won't let it," he whispered reassuringly into my ear as he rubbed my back gently, "Stay with me, we'll get her out. I promise."

"So the bank opens at 9, right?" Isobel said blithely

"Get out of my sight," Damon said darkly

"Touchy," Isobel said palms up in the air, "Fine, I'll wander around the house and see what other goodies I can find. I'm sure there are more Gilbert family secrets lurking about. "

I felt everyone stare at my back, both wondering if I was okay and bewildered that I sought comfort in Damon's arms. I couldn't care less.

I only pushed him away when I was certain we were alone and I sat down on the couch, putting my face in my hands. I felt Damon sit down as well but a few inches away, giving me the space I seemed to need, even just for a while.

"How could you?" I asked staring blankly in front of me after a few minutes of silence, "How could you love her? There's nothing good in her. Her motivations, all her actions, and just everything about her reek of pure selfishness."

Damon shook his head, a bitter smile on his face as he blew out a long drawn out breath, "Because she made me believe that finally someone saw me, that someone chose me over the perfect little brother. She made me feel like I was worth something and not the disappointment I was to everyone else. She made me forget I was a failure by showing me what I could become when I turned. I bought it—hook, line and sinker. I didn't know better, Elena. I'm as flawed as they come."

I nodded accepting his answer wholly because it was the truth. He was imperfect, I knew that and I understood the darkness he kept with him. But I needed more and I couldn't stop everything from stumbling out.

"Doesn't it feel like a story, something epic, and at the end, the hero has to choose just one to save—his love, his friend or his family? Tell me how it ends, Damon." I whispered, playing it all out in my mind

"I wouldn't know," he said standing up, "I'm not a hero."

He tucked my hair behind my ear and walked away, but not before saying the words that I needed to keep from falling into the abyss,

"But just so you know, I'd always choose _you_."


	6. Even the heartless bleed

**Break, mend and shatter**

**Disclaimer: The characters and other things from The Vampire Diaries don't belong to me. Credit goes to the rightful owners.**

**Chapter 5: Even the heartless bleed**

_**Katherine**_

I trust no one. Humans are capricious and wholly unreliable. Vampires are even worse. I should know. I am one.

But I don't reject them. I embrace their very natures because they feed my need for entertainment, if you will. Humans are easy to manipulate, so trusting of anything beautiful that they'd trade souls for a piece of it. Vampires on the other hand live with heightened emotions, a reason why some choose the cold, numb and monstrous existence. Uncivilized and closer to animal than man, some just prefer that over magnifying every desire and passion you've ever known.

It took me hundreds of years to make an art out of manipulating anyone and everyone, binding them to me in any way possible. And I refuse to let a small town like Mystic Falls unravel me, and most definitely not an insignificant human copy.

I pushed the curtains away and touched my hand on the cool glass, tracing the outline of the moon with my fingertips. Behind me, Stefan lay on the bed asleep, his back to me, trying so hard not to speak while he rests. But I always know. I always hear it. Elena. It's always that name.

I feel no hurt, only the fury of betrayal and the need for revenge. I should have known that saving Emily and obtaining her pledge never meant she was cured of her attempts to be noble. I never would have believed it had it not drawn Stefan and Damon back to that town.

'Like a moth to a flame,' I whispered softly

Stefan saw her, saved her and wanted to know her. He fell for the pitiful and broken human, as if fixing her would absolve him of loving _me_ all those years ago and for the monster he become but never accepted. Because of his own blindness, he is with me. Because until now he does not understand the nature of love, he was reduced to mediocrity and he was too easily drawn to the solution I proposed. In the end, he was unable to resist allure of a heroic, self-sacrificing gesture that cunningly concealed his fear of killing me himself.

Oh, I know his plan. He would run away with me, kill me and return to Elena. I'm always on guard, make no mistake. But he has not the will to destroy me, because he's still trying to see some good in me and maybe somehow save me. He does not understand I am beyond redemption. He has already failed, this he knows, but his heart cannot accept it yet. Because no matter how much he tries to convince himself it was all a lie, Stefan knows he still loves me. And that is why he cannot sacrifice enough to find the strength to kill me, not even for Elena.

But Damon, dear bastard that he is, was a revelation. _His_ betrayal is one I cannot forgive. I never loved him but he was mine. I watched his obsession from afar, nurturing his obsession by staying away for more than a century, so that he would welcome me as a queen in his life when the time came that I would take him back as my most loyal pet, with Stefan on my arm.

But he chose_ her, _shielding her from me, his beautiful honest eyes telling me all I needed to know. He was obsessed with me, believing I was his salvation, the single being on this earth who thought he was more than just a mistake. I was careful to lock him up in the darkness, making him feel like I was the only light he could trust to lead him out. But he never truly loved me. Not like he did that _girl._

It was not Isobel's words that convinced me. It was not even his protectiveness around her but the fact that he stayed. It took more courage to stay with someone who not only saw you just as a friend but was in love with someone else. Few in this world realize that it takes true love to not let go. And he had no inkling that was exactly what he did.

I allowed the ice in my empty glass swirl around as I imagined Damon picking up the pieces his brother left behind, torn between his instinct to follow me and to soothe the hurt of that girl. I imagined him denying his very nature to please her do-good ways. I imagined him smiling, laughing and happy, his words that night I returned ringing in my ears. I touched my lips, feeling the ghost of his kiss, the purity of his intentions breakthrough the evil that always followed a vampire. He was supposed to kiss _me _that way and look at _me _with that intense gaze as if he couldn't exist without me. I closed my eyes and crushed the glass with my grip, the blood dripping from my hand onto the white carpet as the jealousy burned me from the inside.

My phone vibrated in my hand and I stepped out into the balcony, a party raging just below me, masking the sound.

"I trust you have good news," I asked the caller

"They fell for it," the voice said

"Good," I said watching my hand heal on its own, faint pink scars left where the glass had cut me, "you know what to do."

"What about the book?" he asked

"Shred it, burn it, sell it, doesn't matter," I said casually, leaning on the railing, watching the revelry below, "It's not like I don't know what's inside."

"The others?" he asked

"Consider them a bonus, a little extra blood for your trouble." I replied

"And Mr. Damon Salvatore?" he asked once more, "Do you want to deal with him yourself?"

I smiled, "Make him watch Elena suffer and die. Then let him go. I believe I'll enjoy watching him self-destruct eventually."

"Who called?" Stefan said, calling out by the balcony door

"My assassin," I said simply, challenging him to ask more "Don't pretend you didn't see this coming Stefan."

"What have you done Katherine?" he asked panic rising in his voice as he gripped me by the arms

I flung my arms to free myself and I pushed him across the balcony and into the room, broken glass flying everywhere.

"You've done your part well, you've dragged us halfway around the world, and just far away enough from your precious Elena that you can't even run home to save her life even if you tried your oh-so very best. Or maybe you'll make it in time for her funeral. I don't know, what do you think Stefan? Hmm, and we already know you can't even hurt me so why don't we just enjoy the rest of the night and party downstairs?" I said mocking him

"You bitch," Stefan said loathingly

"Thank you," I said smirking, "I pride myself on being one."

"What did you do?" he asked again, unable to stand

"What I've wanted to do with my bare hands, with your lovesick brother as my audience." I said scathingly, "Kill Elena."

"Too bad I'll have to make do with giving the order," I said as I walked over to him and stepped on his chest, pinning him down, making sure I broke a few ribs in the process.

I leaned down to whisper in his ear as he writhed in pain, "Stefan, you'll black out in a while what with all the broken things in your body. It was good while it lasted but I have to run. Things to do, people to kill. You know? Until next time, Stefan. Oh, I know we don't have rules, but I really don't want to catch you with another girl again. I'll just kill her and that blood will be on you, just like Elena's. Goodbye now."

I knocked him out with a swift blow and shut the door behind me, putting the Do Not Disturb sign on the door.

I smiled to myself as I walked out of the hotel and hailed a cab, "Airport please."

"Oh yes madam," the driver said, "Going home?"

"Yes," I said smiling mischievously," I'm going home."


	7. Listen to the unspoken words

**Break, mend and shatter**

**Disclaimer: The characters and other things from The Vampire Diaries don't belong to me. Credit goes to the rightful owners.**

**Chapter 6: Listen to the unspoken words**

_**Damon**_

"What do you want?" I said sharply, noting Isobel's presence behind me as I sat on the front steps of the house.

"Do you really need to be rude Damon?" Isobel asked feigning hurt

"Yes, now what do you want?" I replied

"Just to talk," she said, hands in the air in mock surrender, "I'm bored, I need to pass the time and everyone else is pretending to sleep, so that leaves you."

"We have nothing to talk about." I said sharply, "If you're bored, why don't you just run along and die?"

"Ouch," she said, "Why are you so touchy? Mad at me for telling Elena the obvious? That you're in love with her? Sorry, but it had to be said. It doesn't seem to have ruined your chances with her. On the contrary, I think it did you a world of good Damon."

"You know nothing," I said through gritted teeth

"Really Damon? You think I don't know my own daughter?" Isobel asked, anger rising with her voice

"You have no right to call her that," I spat bitterly, "You left her. You suck."

"And you have no right to decide that," Isobel said as her eyes flashed with fury, "I didn't leave her. I gave her a chance at a life I could never give."

"Well, if that isn't a line from some movie," I said shaking my head, "You left because you love her, like my brother. Right."

"Not everyone is as brave as you Damon," Isobel said, her voice suddenly soft, a sigh escaping from her lips, "Haven't you heard? It's easier to love someone from afar because then you'll never lose their love. They'll miss you, pine for you and want you to come home. And they'll never be exposed to your true nature. They'll never even have the chance to truly hate you because in time, you'll be reduced to a memory locked away in their minds. You never become a part of their life, so there will never be a painful goodbye."

"You threatened her, you had your cowboy break the bones of someone she cares about and you held her brother hostage. Take your lies somewhere else Isobel, I'm not in the mood to listen." I said darkly

"Don't act so high and mighty Damon," she fired back, "Just because you've been a white knight of late, doesn't mean you're the poster child for how to love people. If memory serves, you were the insane person trying to free a tomb full of vengeful vampires just for Katherine."

"Never said I was, but thanks of thinking of me that way, warms the heart," I said, hand tapping my chest, "Are you done now?"

"And you wonder why they keep picking Stefan over you? With that kind of attitude, it's a wonder why Elena even keeps you around." Isobel goaded me

"Ask her, not me." I said not taking the bait

"If only I could but there's really no need is there? You only have to look at her and you just know," she said, looking at me strangely, "Exactly how blind are you Damon? Are you telling me you're stupid enough to be one of those people who need to hear _it_?"

"Oh hell, here we go, tell me Isobel, what does your defunct maternal instinct tell you?" I asked

Isobel tilted her head, hesitated before she continued in a serious tone, "I look at you and I see a monster, my personal ticket to eternal damnation. Everyone else looks at you and sees the vampire. But Elena, she just sees the man—terribly flawed but worthy of her absolute trust."

"Impossible," I whispered but wishing the bitch weren't such a liar, "she's seen me at my worst. I turned her mother into a vampire, how can she possibly see anything but the evil inside."

"She forbid me from taunting you about Stefan or Katherine," she said smirking; "Don't you get it? She didn't ask me to not physically break you but to not _hurt_ you. Come on, do I really have to spell it out for you?"

"Will you even let me stop you?" I shot back

She shook her head, a wicked smile on her face, "No, some things you need to hear from her. I'll let you suffer through the uncertainty for now. Anyway, it's time for us to go. It's time."

"Time for what? Sun's not even up yet." I said incredulously

"Time to go get the book, I already have the key, and you're coming with me to break into the bank." Isobel said matter-of-factly

"Now, who's insane? Not going anywhere with a crazy person, sorry. Try Alaric?" I said shaking my head

"We have to go _NOW_ Damon. I'm serious," Isobel said standing up, looking at me expectantly

"Oh, you're going to have to do better than telling me you're serious," I said

"Do you really want to wait for Elena and the rest of the walking blood banks to wake up just to walk them straight into a trap?" Isobel hissed at me

My ears pricked at the last word, "What do you mean by a trap? The whole book thing is a set up?"

"Yes and no. It was more of a Katherine wins it all kind of plan." Isobel said with a wave of her hand, "She gets the book, we all die, end of story. But my way is infinitely better. Get the book without anyone knowing, even our own "team", then come back here and change the rules of her game."

"At the risk of sounding like a broken record, why am I supposed to believe you?" I asked in a bored tone, still utterly unconvinced

"Because I was sent to double-cross you and I'm telling you now—move. We do not have time Damon." Isobel insisted

"That bitch sent you?" I asked finally standing up, "So you want me to trust someone who was sent here to betray all of us? Yeah, I don't think so Isobel. Explain."

"Start walking and I will," she countered

"You have until the end of this block, if I'm not satisfied by then, I'll rip your tongue out." I threatened, gesturing for her to lead the way

"What I told you was true—the Code, the spell on our bloodline, and Elena. What I didn't tell you was the source of the information—Katherine. She wanted me to come here, tell you the story and keep her posted on all your movements."

"In exchange for?" I said, asking the most basic of questions

"My life. I didn't ask you to turn me into a vampire to not even outlive this generation Damon." Isobel said flatly

"And you're risking that now, why?"

She stopped one step away from the corner of the street, "You're not the only vampire who knows how to love, Damon."

I stared hard at her and nodded in understanding, the image of Elena sleeping peacefully in my mind, "Last one there is a rotten corpse," I said taking off in a run, calling back loudly, "Too bad you're in heels!"

* * *

Dawn had broken by the time Isobel and I had finished, quite uneventfully at the bank. We were in and out without anyone the wiser.

I opened the front door quietly, expecting to be met with silence and not a livid Elena standing in front of the kitchen table, hands rigidly pressing down on it as she tried to control her anger.

I frowned and my mouth hung open as I took it all in—Alaric pausing mid-stride from his pacing, Bonnie with her spell book open in front of her, and Jeremy ending the call he was on.

"Explain." Elena said her voice tightly wound as if she was one breath away from yelling

"Uh, surprise we got the book?" I said trying to lighten the mood—admittedly not one of my finest moments

Elena's eyes flashed angrily at me, her chest rapidly rising and falling as she seethed.

"What? That's a good thing. It was the easiest thing in the world, less risky too." I said

"That wasn't the plan Damon," Elena said, her lips barely moving as she ground the words out

"Her idea, not mine," I said pointing at Isobel who seemed amused by it all, looking back and forth between me and Elena

"Since when do you listen to _her_," Elena said, her voice slowly rising

"Uh, since she started making sense," I answered back, "Look, we got the book and no one got hurt. What the hell is your problem with that Elena? It wasn't fun if you were worried about missing out."

"My problem?" Elena said, her voice getting louder by every syllable, "My PROBLEM? _You're_ asking _me_ what the hell is my problem? YOU are my problem! YOU LEFT! I woke up and found out you were GONE. Since I couldn't believe that you would actually be insane enough to pull something like this I thought you were lying in a ditch somewhere, DEAD. Worried is an understatement Damon, I was going out of my mind trying to figure out if I should go out and save your sorry ass or if I should already start looking for an empty grave to put you in!"

I clenched my jaw and knitted my eyebrows as I stalked towards her, "I'm already dead Elena, I'd stop worrying about that if I were you. I'm crazy but not stupid. You can't expect me to sit around and not try and keep you away from danger Elena. So you were stressed for a while, but we have the book. Forgive and forget, Elena."

"You don't understand," Elena breathed, her voice low, a calm before a raging storm

"I don't? What don't I understand Elena? That you're making a big deal out of something that helped us?" I challenged

"I CANNOT LOSE YOU!" Elena burst out, "I couldn't breathe Damon, worrying over where the hell you were! I have to focus on Jenna but noooooo I spent the past hour agonizing if someone finally managed to stake you in the heart. Thanks to you have this image burned into my brain of you lying there with a piece of wood sticking out of your chest and I'd NEVER get to talk to you again, laugh with you and tell you—" she said stopping abruptly

"Tell me what Elena," I asked quietly, ignoring the wide eyes and shocked faces around us

"I cannot lose you Damon, please. Not now, not ever. I—" she said finally spent, taking a deep breath and just letting her head down

I took the steps to close the distance and held her in my arms, rubbing her back, trying to get the frantic beating of her heart to a normal pace. "Shhh," I said soothingly," You're just really worked up over all this with Jenna missing. Look, I'm here. Book is right here. See, Isobel even gave it to Bonnie. We're all perfectly fine. I'm right here, Elena. I'm right here."

I leaned back to be able to see her face, held her jaw with my hands, "You know I've cheated death and will probably be able to continue to do so for a long, long time. Losing me is always a possibility, you _know_ that. Nothing new. I've been out of your sight for a lot longer than the hour I wasn't here and under worse circumstances. What's got you really spinning, my little ballerina?"

She was shaking her head against my chest, clutching my shirt tightly, puffing up her cheeks before letting out a long drawn out breath, "A thousand things could have happened in that hour Damon. You could have lost your ring, burned by the sun, or staked, or I don't know. Jenna's kidnappers could have found you. I was worried. And some small part of me thought you left, for good, for Katherine."

"The only reason I'd leave _you_ to find _her_ would be to kill her if she put you in any danger, which apparently she's trying to do now soooo…." I said trailing of

"So you'll also leave to protect me?" she said looking small in my grasp

"Nah, I'll wait for her to come. Home court advantage and all," I said, kissing the top of her head before letting go, "So now what?"

"Oh no, please continue the hallmark moment, it's very fun to watch," Isobel said with a mischievous smile dancing on her lips

Bonnie ignored Isobel and turned to Elena, "I can use the book to undo the cloaking spell so we can locate Jenna. I just need a bit of time to decipher the language; it's quite different, much more ancient."

"Good!" I said clapping my hands together, "Now what's the plan for the rest of the day?"

The phone suddenly rang obtrusively, a shrill sound, and looks were instantly exchanged as we wondered if it was the one we were expecting.

It wasn't.

Jeremy had answered it and looked surprised, nodding before holding out the phone to Isobel, "It's for you."

Isobel looked suspicious but took the phone, "Hello?"

The voice that answered her was clear and regrettably familiar—Katherine's. I walked closer to listen in, using my vampire hearing to listen to both sides of the conversation.

"I should have known that no one in my bloodline could be trusted," Katherine said calmly on the other end

"What do you want?" Isobel asked

"A lot of things and you just added one more to that growing list. Your betrayal will cost you Isobel. Lucky for you I haven't decided the price just yet. But tell me, do you really turning against me is enough to make up for abandoning your only daughter? Or is this some twisted display of love for your pathetic husband—giving him the girl of his current dreams?"

"I don't have to explain myself to you," Isobel said tersely

"I know, but I'm curious, so I asked. But now I'm bored and I want to have fun. Damon is listening I presume, so he can be the one to tell his precious Elena how it will go down. The stakes have changed. Keep the book. I want Elena. Damon can tag along if he wants but it won't be any fun for him—that I guarantee."

"And in exchange, we get Jenna?" Isobel asked.

"In exchange, I don't have the entire town razed by fire or some other tragic thing that will decimate Mystic Falls. Or not. Let me think about that one too. Oh, and as of right now, for all intents and purposes, Jenna is already dead."

The line clicked and went silent. I turned to Bonnie, "You better find that spell NOW and another one that protects Jenna, this house and the whole freaking town."

"What? Why?" Bonnie said looking surprised.

"Katherine?" Elena whispered, turning pale

Isobel nodded, looking worried as well, "She's going to have Jenna killed, so you better hurry up witch."

"What does she want?" Alaric asked fists clenched

Elena closed her eyes, opened them to stare into mine, without breaking contact, she spoke, sure and unfazed,

_"Me."_


	8. Into the abyss we all fall

**Break, mend and shatter**

**Disclaimer: The characters and other things from The Vampire Diaries don't belong to me. Credit goes to the rightful owners.**

**Chapter 7: Into the abyss we all fall**

_**Elena**_

Some part of me knew this was inevitable—that Katherine would come back to kill me. The same feelings rose up in me when I first saw her picture in Stefan's room, when I first doubted that his love was real. Anger, confusion, fear and paranoia—it all rushed into me, each emotion battling the other.

My vision swam, and everything blurred in front of me, but somehow I knew Damon was watching me. He looked at me with concern but I only focused on the terror in his eyes, followed by the determination to keep it hidden.

"Bonnie," Damon started, without breaking his eye contact with me, "Where's all the magic mumbo jumbo you've been bragging about? Your friend Elena is about to make some stupid choices right about now and I'm not all that sure I can stop her without strapping her down on a chair."

"Keep quiet Damon and let me focus," Bonnie said her mouth set in a thin line

"I just wanted to give you motivation that's all. I don't think you want a lunatic best friend or a dead one at that," he said, one hand moving slowly towards me as if to grab me if I tried to do anything rash

"Stop it!" Bonnie yelled and a surge of energy blasted through the room, holding each of us in place, unable to move or speak.

We could only watch Bonnie as the room darkened and only the flame of the candle in front of her lit our surroundings. In a few seconds, her eyes turned completely pitch-black, hollow and empty as the words that flowed from her lips were harsh and unnatural. Her voice grew louder and stronger, creating a whirlwind that enveloped her until she was lost in it and screams of voices we didn't recognize filled the room.

The noise subsided and only images were left, as if projected, on the white column that surrounded Bonnie.

Jenna.

She was tied to a chair by a window, the sun streaming through it illuminating her. She looked scared but other than that, she seemed okay. We could see someone on the phone, nodding and looking at Jenna hungrily. The man eyed her as he tucked the phone in his pocket, walking towards her with deliberate slowness. He reached out to take her, a silent scream forming on her lips, but his hand burst into flames as he did so. Bonnie yelled something indecipherable and the fire trailed his arm until his entire body was consumed by it, the ashes creating a nest for a necklace that had once protected him from sunlight.

And just as quickly as it started, it was over. I pitched forward from having been kept in place against my will, and Damon caught me before I fell.

He peered at me, a frown on his face, "You okay?"

I nodded still in shock over what I saw, "Was that real?"

Bonnie nodded completely spent as she leaned back on the couch, eyes closed.

"Well, is it just me or did you just bench the vamps in the room. Is that really necessary?" Damon asked, eyes narrowed at Bonnie, "It's daylight outside witch, I need to be immune to it to get to wherever the hell Jenna is being kept."

"I erased the magic from all the stones, except for three—Isobel's, yours and Stefan's." Bonnie said quietly, looking at me, expecting a reaction from me

I just gave her a small smile of gratitude but failed to say more. At least I knew that somehow, wherever he was, Stefan still had some protection on him. Even if I knew it hurt Damon, I couldn't help but be relieved and still worry over his brother.

"So where was that?" Alaric asked, picking up his bag, "Let's get a move on. Sun won't be up forever. They'll get to her eventually. We have to be there before someone figures out how to block the light out from that window."

"Hold on, I still don't trust you all that much Bonnie. I still remember the invention thing you supposedly un-spelled. What if that was all a bunch of special effects and the minute I walk out that door I go poof?" Damon said blocking everyone's way to the door, looking pointedly at Bonnie

"It's not. I won't kill you because as much as I hate to admit it, we need you right now. So breathe easy, but don't get any ideas. Step out of line and you do go poof, as you so nicely put it." Bonnie said scathingly

"Enough, let's go, we don't have time for this!" I said shoving Damon aside.

"Stop." Isobel said, hand on my arm pulling me back, "Excited much? Before you start running off, do you even know where that is? What exactly do you plan on doing when you get there? Showing up and saying hello will get you and everyone else killed. So stop a minute."

"It's a warehouse," Jeremy said, standing beside me, looking pointedly at the hand Isobel had on my arm, "with two ways to get in—front and back. Just one room actually so once we're in, that's basically everyone we need to face then get Jenna out."

"Katherine must have sent five vampires and a witch, a powerful one," Isobel said letting me go and turning to Damon after looking at each of us in turn, "I think it's pretty even."

"Eyes off the humans Isobel, well except Ric, they're on getaway car duty today." Damon said looking directly at me, daring me to disagree

"Whatever, okay, let's go," I said averting my eyes

"Lie better Elena," Damon said taking me by the arm gently so that I would face him, "I'll get her out. I promise."

"Or you'll die trying right?" I said shaking my head, "NO. When will you get it that I'll never listen when it comes to these things? I liked your other suggestion from before, I rescue and you distract."

"How good an actress are you Elena?" Isobel interrupted

"What?" Damon asked, glaring at her

"She can just waltz in there and pretend to be Katherine. Order them to release Jenna and then we go in for the kill. Much, much simpler than your original plan to just drop in unexpected," Isobel said matter-of-factly

"Yes!" I said agreeing with Isobel, "I can do that."

Damon narrowed his eyes and addressed both of us, "Problem, what if she's already there?"

"No, the phone call sounded like she was moving, like in a car. She's on the way, and given her sudden allergy to the sun, she won't make it in time for our pow-wow." Isobel answered

"Look it can be Plan A. I'll try and then if they're not fooled, jump in and save the day. Damon, come on, please." I said

"We'll be right behind her, and we'll be ready to protect her. It's our best shot, Damon. Jenna doesn't have much time." Alaric said

"Their witch is no more than an ordinary human at this point, wherever that warehouse is I turned it into a magical dead spot. He or she will have to come out to work any kind of spell and I'll be ready for it." Bonnie added

Damon made a face, glaring at me before throwing his arms up in the air and closing his eyes briefly, "Fine. You win."

We each made our way as Damon held the door open, he caught me by the arm and held me in place, "Elena, it's too risky."

"You already agreed," I said trying to pull free but he held on, his internal struggle evident in his face

"It's one thing for a human to go inside a roomful of vampires but for _you_, the one person they were ordered to kill, to do that is suicide. The second they realize you're exactly who they're looking for...you'll be dead before you can blink. I can't watch that Elena, I cannot willingly let that happen." Damon said emphatically, pleading with me with his eyes

"What are you trying to say Damon? That I'm foolish and I have no sense of self-preservation? I don't. Not when it comes to people I care about. Happy? Let's go!" I said trying to shove him away with my other hand

"No," he said taking my other hand and holding it over his heart, "I'm saying, even if you'll hate me for it, if anything happens to you, I'm turning you. I will not lose you."

For a second, my heart stopped. I held my breath and looked into his eyes, searching for the conviction I doubted was there, that he would actually carry it out. I watched him swallow, clench his jaw and open his mouth, then close it again to prevent him from taking back the words.

"I'll hate you for the first fifty years but if you grovel nicely, we can work something out after that." I said watching him closely as the relief became evident in his face and in his sudden embrace. I held him close, letting my own shock wear off that I could accept that life and see it with perfectly clarity with him beside me. For as long as forever could be for a vampire, I knew right then I could take it as long as I was with the man who held me now.

"I'm on the edge of a cliff already. Do you really have to make me look how far I'll fall before you tell me you've actually got me?" Damon whispered

"Yes," I said as a smile tugged on my lips even if it was uncalled for given the circumstances, "Now, let's go."

I tugged on his arm, and he shook his head, rolling his eyes as he usually did, "The things you get me into."

* * *

I stood in front of the door, Damon and Isobel crouched low on either side of me, my hand poised to knock but instead, I drew back and kicked it in.

The vampires on the other side were huddled in darkness turned to me sharply, instantly in a defensive stance, relaxing only when they recognized me, well who they thought to be Katherine.

I didn't dare look at Jenna as I entered the room with exaggerated slowness, knowing that if I exchanged a look with my aunt we'd get made.

"How did you get here? Why are _you _still able to walk in the sun?" said the one who appeared to be the leader of the group. He was visibly angry, betrayal seeping into his tone, but still cautious.

I didn't know what to say so I just raised an eyebrow and stared hard at them, then proceeded to inch closer to Jenna so at least if they figured it out soon, I'll be within the rays streaming in from the window.

"How can we go and make sure they don't get out of that bank alive when they pick up the book, if we can't walk into the sun Katherine?" said one of the vampires, there were four of them, which would make things easier on us.

"They already have it. You already failed," I said, trying to inject as much venom into my words

"What?" said the leader, alarmed, "How can that be?"

"You tell me," I said, facing off with them, blocking Jenna from sight as she was already beginning to call out my real name from behind her gag

He was about to respond when the phone in his pocket rang, surprise clear on his face as he saw the number.

Game over. I backed into the light and watched the vampire's face change as he squinted at me, a malicious gleam in his eye as he told the caller, "She's right here, walked right in. Seems the girl has a death wish. I'll call you when it's over...Katherine."

He said her name with a relish as he ended the call and took a single step towards me as I backed away into the sun.

He wasn't able to take another one. A dark blur had rushed into him pushing him to the far wall, staking him before he even recognized it was Damon.

The other vampires stood on guard as Isobel and Alaric entered the room, while Damon straightened up, a Cheshire cat grin on his face, "Who wants to go next?"

Alaric called out to me, "Get her out of here Elena, we'll handle this."

I nodded even if he couldn't see me and proceeded to free Jenna. I took out the gag from her mouth before moving on to her hands and feet.

"What the hell is going Elena? Why is Damon...why does he look like that?" Jenna said, her voice shaking with fear, `"Is that Isobel?"

"I'll explain later, we just need to get out of here first," I said focusing on the knots, trying not to see how Damon seemed to be struggling with the vampire he was fighting, a sinking feeling settling in my stomach.

I should have known it would never be as easy as it was in that moment. The creeping dread that was warning me wasn't because Damon was in peril. _I was._

Isobel was right, there were five of them. The last one was hidden in the dark corner closest to Jenna. She was tiny, crouched down and ready to pounce at me, sure that she would not miss.

All the sounds around me dimmed to a static noise that I tuned out as I look straight into her face, eyes glinting with malicious intent, fangs bared and arms ready to lock me in place. I knew I wouldn't have been able to move fast enough to escape.

I barely heard Jenna scream, "Elena, look out!"

I saw Damon's eyes widen in alarm, his own body pinned against a wall by another vampire, unable to move.

I braced myself for impact but a blur came in between us. The next thing I saw was the grey vampire corpse on the ground, Isobel standing over it then turning to me with a face full of genuine concern.

The split second that Isobel let her guard down, showed her humanity, cost her everything. A scream froze in my throat in horror as her eyes widened and she looked down to see a wooden stake sticking out from her chest, stabbed from behind. Somewhere behind her, Alaric raged and staked the vampire, leaving only Damon with an opponent. But the damage had been done.

She looked at me and tilted her head, offering me a small smile even if the rest of her face was contorted in pain and anguish.

It was as if someone hit the play button the second she finally fell into Alaric's arms, she smiled at him, a real genuine smile, and she reached up one hand to his cheek, "I finally get to die in your arms, like it should have been."

I watched Alaric's tears join with her blood as he cradled her dead body like she was fragile. Jenna had untied the rest of her bonds and tried to coax me off the floor.

But the shock was too intense and I was stuck in that moment when Isobel jumped in front of me, saving me.

I felt my chest heave, rising and falling rapidly, my breathing increasing every second as I continued to mutely look on at Alaric and Isobel. The sense of loss was hovering near the surface but still unwilling to break free. She was practically a stranger and the blood that spilled out of her was no longer the same as the one the coursed through mine. It was borrowed blood, nothing more, yet it rooted me in place as I watched it trace a path to where I was.

I barely felt Jenna release me, nor did I hear Damon telling her he'll take care of this. I was numb even to his touch as he lifted me and sat me down on the chair that Jenna vacated.

"Elena," Damon started softly, using a finger to hold my chin and make me face him, "Elena, look at me."

I turned away and kept watching Alaric whisper words into Isobel's ears, promises that she'll never know.

"Elena!" Damon said sharply, his blue eyes staring intensely into mine when I finally snapped my head in his direction, "We have to go."

"But, we can't leave her..." I started

Alaric looked up and met my eyes, "Go. I'll bury her."

I wanted to say that I'd go with him, that I also wanted to say goodbye but I felt as if I had no right to do so. I let Damon lead me away, bring me to the car and drive me home.

I knew Jenna had questions, that Jeremy and Bonnie were worried with how I was behaving and well, Damon, I knew he was extremely anxious with every moment that I did not speak.

When we got home, I opened the front door and walked quietly up the stairs as if in a trance. I ignored the concerned looks around me and just listened to Bonnie and Jeremy shepherd Jenna into the kitchen, to check how she was, settle down or something.

I didn't care. The only thing I could do was walk straight up to my room, as if maybe that routine would ease the pressure that was building in my chest.

When I entered my room, it was the first thing I saw. Small as the white envelope was, it stood out on my bed, carefully placed on the center. I deliberately took my time to walk towards it and pick it up, as if the delay would somehow give me time to believe it was from anyone but Isobel.

I saw my name written across the middle, in a fine and elegant cursive, unfamiliar and yet somehow, it confirmed my suspicion.

I took a deep breath and opened the letter inside, wishing not for the last time that she could have told me herself what she needed to say.

_Elena,_

_Strange isn't it? How fate plays with us. I gave you up to give you a chance at a normal life, and yet here you are in the middle of all. _

_If you're reading this, it means I'm dead and was unable to retrieve it to burn to ashes. It means this is our last chance at the truth, so I'll make it count._

_I gave you up because I knew my darkness even then. I understood that some part of me was never really right. Having you at a really young age just made it more sensible to give you up and not drag you down with me. That was my first and biggest mistake. I should have tried Elena because maybe, just maybe, you __could have pulled me out of that dark place. I'm sorry. _

_I was cruel to you when I came back the first time. I needed to be. So that you wouldn't learn to care for me, and you'd never have to mourn another parent again. And also, so you wouldn't feel betrayed to know that I agreed to that plan so that invention would kill Stefan and Damon. I never wanted this life for you and at the time, it made sense to save you from it._

_This time, I came back to save you and since you're holding this in your hands, it means somehow I succeeded. Katherine asked me to feed you all those stories about the book and be her eyes in your house. I agreed, with every intent to do otherwise. _

_Because I'm not completely gone and somewhere in me is the girl who held you as a baby for just thirty seconds, promising you that she will love you somehow. I do. You're my daughter, even if you disagree, and that means whatever I become, I will love you. And I'll always find ways to protect you._

_Elena, Katherine wants you dead. I'm sure by now you know that but I need you to understand exactly how grave the danger you are in, including everyone you love. She will not be satisfied by just killing you—she will torture you, play mind games with you until you beg for her to just kill you to end it all. _

_And this is where I tell you my second mistake—telling you that you're doomed with the Salvatore brothers in each arm. Keep Damon in your life. Whatever it takes, for however long you can. He's the only one I can trust with your life, even if I have no right to choose or say that._

_I meant what I said—he's in love with you. You both know that. But it's not enough. He has to know, Elena, that you love him too. You don't have time to lie about it, feel guilt that you still have feelings for Stefan, and pretend that he's not the one who keeps you from falling into that abyss. Don't be too proud to think he's beneath you because of all the evil he's done. We're all imperfect, us vampires more so than the rest, but not impossible to forgive. Damon deserves that chance, we both know that._

_He's not broken anymore, Elena, I hope you see that. When I first met him, when I asked him to turn me, he was empty and was wasted on Katherine. But when I saw you walk up to your house with him, I saw a man not a monster. You never knew how evil he was, and I wish you never have to see that, so you don't know how shocking it is to watch him in your life. _

_Don't make my mistakes, Elena. Let those regrets die with me. Alaric, he tried and he almost succeeded in keeping me from falling, had I not been foolish enough to believe I was still alone. I pushed him away and chose this. __My only consolation is that he's moving on, and I think he's found someone worthy, with less baggage and can give him that normal life I never could._

_I'm not saying he's strong enough to fight Katherine. He's not and I won't lie about that. But he's going to be enough to give you reason to keep trying to live, with or without that threat in your life. __And whether or not you choose that life to be longer than necessary, I leave to you to know what's right for you when the time comes to make that choice. _

_Look in the mirror, you're no longer lost or confused. You bear the scars of what you've gone through, that much is true, but they no longer hold you back, not like when I first met you. I'm sorry I gave you up, but I'm not sorry doing that allowed you to become someone I'm proud to call my daughter._

_And now I say goodbye. Tell Ric, it's okay to move on. It's time to let me go. I'll always love him but there's nothing to hold on to now, not even memories._

_Tell Damon everything I just told you, when you're ready. _

_Lastly, Elena, I love you. Even if my way of showing it was unconventional and unnatural, know the intent behind it was always to keep you safe. I cannot watch over you anymore. I regret I never got to hug you, laugh with you and just get to know you. I'll carry that __burden with me in death. I hope that someday, you can forgive me and accept that I do love you._

_Isobel_

I let the paper flutter on my mattress as I hugged my knees to myself. I don't know when he got there but Damon held me as I rocked back in forth, the dam breaking and releasing the tears that refused to fall earlier.

I turned to him and buried my face in his chest, trying to find something in his comfort to anchor me and keep me from losing myself to the grief. Somehow, even if I never truly knew her, I mourned her loss. I wept for the lost chances to make things right between us, because somewhere in me, I believed that she did love me.

Damon kept his arms around me, stroking my back to comfort me, his face reflecting the pain that tore me inside. It was a long time before silence took over the room and my sobbing quieted down to small hiccups, until I fell asleep in his arms.

I don't know how long my dreamless sleep lasted or exactly how much time I spent just watching Damon, his eyes closed beside me with one arm protectively around me.

I stared at him, knowing that beneath his calm façade right now was a dormant monster, one he struggled with everyday that he let out his humanity. I know that beneath this exterior is the desire to shut off all feeling and live according to instinct.

It was then that he did love me. It was in that moment I understood the depth of what he felt for me because I knew the choices he made each day to be in my life. It was then I knew why I felt the same way.

He is my freedom. He is my honesty, because he sees my own darkness and saves me from it. He makes me see life as it is, the need to balance walking in the sun and dreaming in the shadows. He is my normal, that even in the middle of all the insanity I feel like the earth still spins the right way and somehow find reason to believe, to hope.

I placed my hand over his chest, where his heart should be, and whispered, "I love you."

"I know." Damon said, eyes closed, face impassive

"I just needed you to know." I said.

"I know," he repeated, placing his other hand over mine, a smile breaking slowly on his face, eyes still closed, "anything else?"

"No, that's it. I love you." I said again before closing my eyes and resting my head on his chest.

"I said it first," he whispered

"I know," I said

"I love you, Elena."

"I know."


	9. Almost perfectly imperfect

**A/N: Thank you so much to all the reviews so far. Loved reading them :) Anyway, got a few more chapters to go...hope you keep reading and I hope you enjoy this one!**

* * *

**Break, mend and shatter**

**Disclaimer: The characters and other things from The Vampire Diaries don't belong to me. Credit goes to the rightful owners.**

**Chapter 8: Almost perfectly imperfect**

_**Damon**_

One week. In a hundred and forty-five years, this is the longest I've been happy and I can't stop counting, hoping it's going to be more than just this one week. Even if it means that I'll never be able to wipe the smile off my face and I'll look like an idiot the rest of my life, I'll take it.

I watched Elena as she stepped outside as school let out, Bonnie trying very hard not to shoot death glares at me while they walked side by side. I rolled my eyes, something Elena keeps trying to get me to stop doing, and waved to them. Bonnie frowned then said goodbye to Elena, leaving her alone the rest of the way to my car.

"Hey girlfriend," I said loudly, making sure everyone within human hearing range heard me

"Stop saying that," Elena said swatting my shoulder

"Oww," I said rubbing the spot she hit

"Oh stop it, it didn't hurt," she said shaking her head

"I meant the 'stop saying that part,' the shoulder thing was just for effect," I said, "Why can't I say it? Will Bonnie get mad or do you like it better if we're a dirty little secret?"

"Oh never mind," Elena said to me, "Where are we going?"

"Ice cream, let's ruin your appetite before dinner," I said opening the door for her, "since that's the most evil thing I can do these days."

She nodded and got in, fiddling with the stereo the moment I started the car, settling on the most depressing song she could find.

I sighed and turned it off, "What's inside the head and the heart Elena? Purge."

"I feel guilty," she said quietly, tracing circles on her leg, "My mother died and I feel that loss, the emptiness. I barely even knew her and yet I feel like there's something missing. There are still moments when I need the world to stop and recognize that I'm still struggling for air, and that I haven't completely wrapped my head around the fact that she's NEVER coming back this time. It's not yet real for me Damon. But then there's the part where I'm just happy, the jump up and down, unbelievably ecstatic part. I think I switch from one emotion to the next I think I'm going crazy."

"One of these days we should compare scorecards on which one of us is more damaged than the other. Seriously, I'm scared you're going to beat me." I said trying to distract her but she didn't even look at me so I continued, "There's no timeline for mourning or learning to care for people. She's your mother, whether it took days or months, you were bound to let her in. And you won't really feel whole again after losing someone like that, regardless of how much or how long you knew them. You don't really recover, not in the way that people pretend to be, because moving on doesn't allow you to reclaim the piece of you they took with them. You just learn to live without it. You let her in and that's why you feel like you just want to hit pause. Cry, wallow, scream—do it all Elena, just don't hold back on the other stuff too. Be happy. Jump up and down, I'll join you."

"Is it that easy? Just _be_ happy?" she said quietly

"Not easy, never easy. Giving up is easy. Death is easy. But choosing to be happy, wanting to live and have a shot at that—now that's difficult. You have to want it, choose it and fight for it." I said

"A lot like love?" she asked

"A lot like us." I replied

Elena sighed but a small smile already lit up her face, "When did you become so wise?"

"I had all that free time while you were in school today," I answered with a smirk, "If I didn't look too old for high school, I'd give it a whirl if only to pass the time. Well, maybe no. I don't think I could suffer through Alaric's class."

"Yeah, you'd flunk out after a week." Elena said deadpan

"Excuse me, missy, that's impossible. I _lived_ through the stuff he's teaching you. I can teach that class." I shot back

"Oh yeah, tell me Damon, can you even sit still for over ten minutes?" Elena said, playing along, desperately trying to overcome the sadness that lay beneath

I narrowed my eyes, "Well we've been in this car for eleven so there goes your theory."

"Want to make this interesting?" Elena said a mischievous grin spread on her face

"I'm listening," I said cautiously, wondering exactly how devious she could be

"I bet you that if you attend Alaric's class, you won't last until the bell rings." Elena said

"Easy. So you're saying I just have to stay in the room until the end of class?" I said, a plan forming in my mind

"Yes, barring any emergency of course and staying in class means you pay attention, you recite and you take down notes. Oh, and you take any quizzes for the day too." Elena replied

"And what are the terms?" I asked

"We do this within the next month. I'll even let you pick the day. Just waltz in when class starts and go out when the rest of us do. If I win, you tell me where Stefan is."

"I don't know what you're talking about," came my standard reply, keeping my eyes on the road, trying to keep any hurt out of my voice

"I looove _you,_ Damon," Elena said in a sing-song voice

"Uh-huh, you have a funny way of showing it," I said keeping my tone light, "asking about your ex is a real classic, right up there with flowers and chocolates."

"I'm not going to run off and find him, I just want to know. And I know you know where he is. I don't know why but—"

"I get it," I said cutting her off, frustrated that I understood there are some answers you need in life, whether or not they made sense.

Elena stuck out her bottom lip like a child, "Mad at me for asking?"

"Nope," I said, finally turning into the parking lot. I should have gotten a carton of ice cream from the store and taken her straight home. The ride would have been shorter, less time for all of _this_. "Just didn't think you'd ask now."

"You sound mad. You look like it too," she said, squinting at me

"Am not," I said sighing as I shut off the engine. "Fine, just invite me to the wedding when you have it okay?"

"Sure. Can't have a wedding without a groom right?" Elena said with a smirk, an obvious sign I was rubbing off on her

"She shoots, she scores!" I said laughing, looking at her in wonder, wanting so desperately to believe the words she just said

"With everything that's happened," she said turning serious, "I just need the loose ends, all the questions left shooting around in my mind, to be gone. I don't want any reason to keep looking back when I've got you next to me."

"Sold," I said nodding, taking a deep breath, "If I win, you let me read your diary."

"Well, that's..." she said trailing off

"Equally unpleasant?" I said supplying the words, "and no editing the moment you get home. I want to read it as it is."

"Deal," she said shaking my hand, "But why my diary of all things? You can just ask me what you want to know."

"Riiiight. And you're really going to tell me what you used to think of me, the exact harsh words I'm sure you used." I said reaching out across her to open her door

"I called you a psychopath once before," she said as we walked towards the ice cream parlor

"Thanks, I was going for that, glad to know I actually achieved it," I said as I opened the door for her, "Nice try, Elena. Now I know you're hiding something and I'll be on my best behavior in class. I'm going to read that diary and watch you squirm when I do."

"Nice to know how much you care," she said sarcastically, "I'm going to write all about you tonight."

"Yeah, don't forget to explain what you mean by 'the eye thing' I do. Always wondered what the hell that meant," I said staring into her eyes

Elena laughed out loud, "Never. I'll tell you I love you everyday but not that. Nope."

I smirked, "Is that why you thought I was trying to compel you when I knew you had vervain on you?"

"Hi," she said turning to the attendant, "I'll have the vanilla with fudge and cookie dough please."

"Ignore me all you want, I'll get my answers soon enough." I said, standing behind her and placing my arms around her waist

"Not before I get mine." Elena said, her eyes twinkling

* * *

One month. It's been a month, and I haven't stopped counting. I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop but at the same time I dread it. Every single day, I watch Elena struggle to overcome her grief and I wrestled with my own demons.

But today we forget about that. I took a deep breath and sauntered into Elena's history class.

"Good afternoon class," I began as Elena shook her head at me, raising one eyebrow

"Damon, what the hell are you trying to pull?" Bonnie asked sharply

"That's Mr. Salvatore to you," I said with a smile, "I'm your substitute teacher. Now, I know you'll agree with me that history is a very boring subject."

I was met with a chorus of 'yeah!' and vigorously nodding heads, "So I propose an outdoor activity."

"What's the catch?" some kid asked

"That's the beauty of _my_ class—there's no catch. Think of a place you feel is 'historical'" I said using air quotes, "and stay there for the rest of the class. Absorb the ambience and just imagine the things that happened there in the past. Live history, breathe it and love it."

"Yeah, I don't think that's _allowed_, Mr. Salvatore," Elena said pointedly, referring to our bet

"Oh, I think it is," I said, "you guys go out and I'll stay here and watch over the desks. Feel free to stay Ms. Gilbert, if you think this room is steeped in rich history. Besides, I'm the teacher here, who's going to stop me?"

"I am," Alaric said, one hand on the door frame, panting, "Damon, what are you doing here?"

"Well that's rude, and here I was helping you out cause I thought you had errands to run. Guess that's not today? My bad." I feigning guilt, hand on my chest as I shrugged my shoulders

"No, and even if it were I wouldn't ask you to be the one and take over my class. I'm not insane, I know better than to leave innocent minds in your care." Alaric said glaring at him

"Yeah, you just don't _know_ that you need to _push_ the door to the little boys' room and not _pull,_" I said shaking my head, as realization dawned on his face as to why he was stuck in the bathroom, necessitating that he run to class to avoid being late, which he was anyway.

"Get out." Alaric said threateningly

"Nah, I think I'll sit in today. See, I even found myself a seat, next to Elena no less. Carry on sir, spread wisdom like butter on toast." I said with a wave of my hand

Alaric took a deep breath and chose to ignore me, leaving me with a slightly amused Elena, "You're breaking so many rules of our bet."

"No I'm not," I said starting to count off on my fingers, "I'm in the room, and I'm not leaving until the bell rings. I'll even pay attention but you're the one who wants to talk so, what can I do?"

"You're crazy," she said facing forward as class stared, trying to ignore me, but failing to keep the small laugh from escaping her

"Never said I wasn't," I said smiling along with her, counting to five until she turned to me again.

"You're so not going to last until the bell rings," she said

"Oh I will, and that's in 5…4…3…2…" I said as I pointed one finger to the ceiling as the fire alarm blared throughout the building, "See, this counts as both an emergency and a bell. You really should have been more specific, Elena. I look forward to reading your diary tonight."

"Cheater!" she said laughing as we filed out of the room, "Wait did you set a fire somewhere?"

"Nah, just charmed some people into making sure the scheduled the fire drill at this time," I admitted

"Charmed, you mean compelled," she said with a frown

"I'm shocked you would think that!" I said pretending to be hurt," Seriously, I just said it's the end of the week, end of the day—everyone's eager to run out anyway."

"Right, I don't believe you," Elena said

"You don't have to, I don't need it. As long as you keep your end of the bargain, you can believe whatever you want to believe." I said, placing an arm over her shoulder, ready to walk out without a care in the world.

And the counting stopped.

I felt Elena stiffen in my grasp until my arm fell away and we stood side by side, facing the long lost brother of mine.

"Stefan," she whispered

"I guess we both get answers today. Lucky us." I said staring hard at my brother as he lurked beneath a tree, unsure and waiting for us to make the first move.

"Stefan," Elena repeated.

"Elena," I said taking her by the arm, "be good. Get yourself counted by the marshals and let him brood a little bit longer. He waited this long to come back, he can wait a few more minutes."

"But—" she protested but I nudged her in the direction of the people checking if everyone made it out.

"Go. I'll make sure he doesn't go anywhere." I said waving her away before turning to my brother, walking slowly, as if I was just talking a stroll

I stopped about two feet away from him and just looked at him, waiting for him to speak first.

"Damon." Stefan started, his eyes haunted by something I couldn't really understand

"Stefan," I said back to him, zipping my lips immediately after I said his name.

"Elena…is she okay?" Stefan asked hesitantly

I snapped my head back in surprise, "Of all the things to say, of all the questions to ask, you had to start with the _stupidest_ one? You told the girl you loved her then you _left_ with your ex, who by the way in case you hadn't noticed, looks exactly like her—seems like someone is confused. You said it was to protect her and that you'd kill said ex but months pass and nothing happens. Oh, wait, sorry something did. The aunt of your supposed love of your undead life gets kidnapped and the biological mother comes back to help, not you. Then it turns out it's an elaborate ruse, masterminded by none other than your travel buddy, to kill Elena. She almost won, Stefan. Katherine almost got her killed had Isobel not stepped in. Isobel died, Stefan, before Elena's very eyes. Now, you tell me, do you think she's okay?"

"I had no idea…" Stefan said, swaying and leaning against the tree for support

"Of course you don't!" I said blowing up, not caring if they all heard us, "You _weren't here!_"

"I wanted to be! But I had no choice!" Stefan countered, rising to meet me

"No, you didn't want it." I said shaking my head, "Because if you did, you would have staked that bitch Katherine before she even got out our front door. You say you're not strong enough. Not true. You don't want it enough. You had a choice and you picked Katherine."

"And what, you're saying _you_ picked Elena and you're going to kill Katherine. Really? Can you do it Damon?"

"Stefan." Elena whispered from behind, not letting me answer.

I watched as she flew to his arms, slamming into him that he staggered back a bit. He held her tight, closing his eyes as Elena clung to him.

I closed my eyes, clenched my teeth and let out a long breath. It felt like someone brought me up to the top of a mountain then just shoved me off to fall the entire way down; tying deadweight on my ankle to make sure the drop was faster and harder.

"I'm sorry," Stefan whispered in her ear, over and over. I watched Elena nod repeatedly each time and the pain stabbed at me each time.

"Katherine's dead. I killed her. It's over now." Stefan whispered to her, looking at me as he said so.

The shock reverberated in me. I expected to feel horror or some form of emptiness but there was only surprise and disbelief. It couldn't have been that easy. Even as he said it, I still couldn't believe that Stefan could do that to Katherine. He loved her, no matter how well he convinced himself it was only because she compelled him all those years ago. He loved her.

"Well, so all's well that ends well. Elena, are you coming?" I said abruptly, watching her, waiting her to choose.

Elena turned around, and hesitated. It was all I needed to see. After everything, when finally faced with the two of us, she wasn't sure. She said the words but with the look in her eyes, I wasn't sure she believed that she did love me.

I nodded and smiled bitterly at them, "Yeah, okay, I get it. I'm a sub. Well, class over so I guess I'm heading out now."

Elena opened her mouth to speak, taking a step towards me, but I cut her off, "Don't. Just don't."

I walked away and didn't look back. Katherine's supposed death shocked me, but Elena, she's the one who hurt me.

* * *

I lost count of the hours or maybe it's been days. I locked myself up in my room, music turned up so I didn't have to hear Stefan knocking incessantly wondering if I'm okay, alive or possibly dead.

I just lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering how long it would take before all the blood in my system was used up and I'd start to become one of those tomb vampires.

I never found out because someone decided to blast through my door.

"I'm pretty sure there's a do not disturb sign outside my door," I said to my intruder not bothering to get up

"Thanks Bonnie," Elena said to the witch, who probably nodded before stepping out—all after glaring at me of course

"Wow, the witch helped you to get to me. Sorry don't need saving today, room is not on fire, no funny vampire killer sounds here—get out Elena. Go play outside with Stefan." I said bitterly

"Get up Damon," she said sharply, anger evident in her tone

"No, _you_ get _out_," I spat. Next thing I knew something hard, rectangular and leather bound hit me squarely in the chest. Elena stood at the foot of the bed, arms folded in front of her.

"What is this?" I said, holding up the offending item

"Diary." Elena said glaring at me, practically emitting steam from her ears

"I don't want it," I said throwing it across the room, letting it hit the wall before sliding down with a thud.

Taking a deep breath and extending her patience much more than expected, she walked over and picked it up before hurling it back to me.

I caught it with one hand and stared hard at her, "What the hell are you doing here Elena?"

"You walked away." Elena said

"Aaand, was I supposed to watch the happy little reunion? No thanks, Elena. Not up for self-inflicted torture."

"I embraced him, Damon! I'm happy he's back. I care about him. Is that such a bad thing? To feel good he's safe? He made sure Katherine would never hurt me again or anyone for that matter. I'm relieved about that. I hugged him for all of that. Is that so bad?" she said

"Sure, okay have a party, celebrate." I said sarcastically, "Dance on Katherine's grave if you really believe she's dead, because I don't."

"What?" she said incredulously

"Don't 'what' me! You heard me," I shouted, "He can't kill her. He doesn't have it in him."

"You're saying he's not strong enough?"

"No, Elena, I'm saying he's lying. But go ahead believe what you want to believe."

"Let her go, Damon. She's dead. Stefan's back. But that doesn't change anything else that happened in between."

"Yeah, no, I'm not buying that, not when he said it with shifty eyes. But hey, what do I know. I'm just the lunatic vampire who was obsessed with her for over a century. I just have separation anxiety, so go ahead buy his story and sell it for movie rights. I don't care."

"Will you quit that? Be serious for just one minute?" Elena said looking at me with so much pain in her eyes

"And what Elena?" I said finally losing control, "You want me to wear my heart on my sleeve? Tell you how hurt I am, that after everything, you just run to him and everything's forgiven and forgotten. All is right in the world, and you're back in each other's arms like some fairy tale? If it's that easy for you to run to him then it's just as easy for me to walk away!"

"AAAAAH!" Elena screamed, "You infuriate me! Do you even hear yourself Damon? So it's like that, you can just walk away? But from a tomb full of vampires, you can't let that go on the chance that you can bring a bitch back to life?"

"You want to know why?" I said, my face dangerously close to hers, "Because I was obsessed with her but not with you. No, Elena, I'm not obsessed with you. I _love_ you. There's a difference."

Without thinking, Elena reached up and pulled me close to kiss me, her mouth melting into mine. I could taste her desperation, her desire to tell me what I refused to hear earlier, her apology and her need. I could feel everything as her lips moved against mine, her hands moving up to my hair as I held her face in my own hands.

She pulled away after a few seconds, her hands on my cheeks, forcing me to look into her eyes.

"Look at me Damon, and listen. I'm happy Stefan is back. I care that he's safe. I love him. I always will because he's a part of my life. He's saved me once before and many times after. BUT," she said forcefully not letting me turn away, "he does not frustrate me, infuriate me, scare me out of my wits, make me feel like I'm running against the wind with my hair whipping behind me, calm me, make me feel safe and protected or just plain and simple happy. You make me_ feel_ Damon. Every single emotion, some I don't even care for, I feel all of them when I'm with you. He pulled me out of the darkness the first time, but every single time after that I slipped you caught me before I went back there. "

Elena removed her hands and walked slowly to the bed, picked up the book and handed it to me, "Read it. Please."

I watched her walk away with the book in my hand, wondering if I almost lost the one good thing in my life.

I sat on the edge of the bed and opened her diary, taking a deep breath before starting to read, fighting emotions when she talked about me. Each word bleeding out with the truth I almost cast aside.

_Damon,_

_I knew you'd turn to the last page. You have to read the rest of it, I'm okay with that. Know that I called you a psychopath with warm affection. _

_But if you're really impatient, I suppose you can save the rest of later and read on._

_I love you. _

_Summarize the pages and you end up with that. I met you, and you annoyed me, irritated me and proceeded to let me know there's something underneath all the hurt you were trying to cover up._

_You stayed with me, not just when Stefan left with Katherine, but before that. You brought me to Atlanta, you helped me rescue Stefan, you stayed with me when we locked him up, and you protected me every step of the way._

_You let me just be me. I could be frantic, emotional, calm, drunk, subdued, lively or mischievous around you. I can be a contradiction and I could still see me—because being with you meant I never lost sight of who I was. Being with you doesn't mean I drown out myself but I somehow became a better version. Because you knew when to listen, when to let me be and just the exact moment you needed to pull me out to just let loose._

_Fight for us Damon. I can't do it on my own. I don't want to. We'll laugh, argue (inevitably), and drive each other up the wall. We'll push each other to the limit and it's going to be worth it. I refuse to let of the thing that makes me feel the most alive—us._

_This is real Damon. Not me and Stefan or you and Katherine. Us. We are real. _

_Don't walk away._

_Elena_

_P.S. I'm right outside. _

I shook my head and put the diary on the bed before walking out. Elena was sitting against the wall, knees hugged to her chest. I slid down next to her, nudging her with my shoulder.

"I'm an idiot." I said with a small laugh

"Tell me something I don't know Damon," she said

"I was jealous," I admitted, placing my head on her shoulder

"Duh," Elena replied, leaning with her cheek on the top of my head, "You know you will have to read the rest right?"

"It's too long. Did you really have to write so much?" I said back

"Hey, you were the one who wanted to read it, and now you're complaining," she shot back

"I'm all good with the last page, it's a happy ending." I replied

"Nope, you asked for it, suffer through it. You have all the time in the world," she said, pausing a bit before continuing, "Speaking of time…"

"Yours will stay limited for as long as possible, Elena," I said reading her mind, "We're not going down that road unless we have to. It's a curse and even someone as selfish as I am can recognize that. Ask me to do it when I love you a little less, just enough to put you through it. But not right now. Not when I think I can still save you."

Elena nodded but I knew she would ask again, another day when I was closer to losing her forever and I would give in. I'll do it but we can still wait, for as long as we can, I'll keep her human.

"Damon?" she started, "You should really leave the brooding to Stefan. Doesn't suit you."

"Only if you consider that Katherine is still alive. I'm serious Elena. I'm not going to believe it until I see proof. Translation, I'm not taking any risks with your safety. With Stefan back and if that bitch isn't dead yet, this town will draw her in like a moth to a flame."

"Well ask Stefan, and you'll be on your best behavior. You will let him speak and tell us his story, and then you can do your inquisition. Give him some credit Damon, he's your brother."

"Fine," I said, pausing a while, wishing I wouldn't find the courage to say what needed to be said.

But I had to know. For both of us, it needed to be said.

"Elena, one last chance. I'll let you walk away now. No questions, no complaints and you just go to Stefan. I'll take it... I'll lie and say I'm fine with it for the rest of my existence. If there's any doubt, go." I swallowed hard before going on, "But if you stay with me, we never look back. Everything on the line, Elena, decide-who will it be?"

Elena turned to me with a curious smile on her face, like she had a secret she couldn't wait to tell me.

"You." Elena said without missing a beat, "It's _you."_


	10. Step into my tangled web of lies

**Break, mend and shatter**

**Disclaimer: The characters and other things from The Vampire Diaries don't belong to me. Credit goes to the rightful owners.**

**Chapter 9: Step into my tangled web of lies**

_**Stefan**_

Bittersweet. It's the only way I can describe watching Damon with Elena. The brother who was committed to inflicting on me as much misery and torment for eternity was replaced by a better version Damon I knew as a human. I still see his demons, the vampire inside is alive, but he is no longer controlled by it. He's the person I believed I would eventually become for Elena.

Instead I became the person who would lie to her, if only to reclaim a past I should never have left.

I watched them dance in each other's arms, close and barely even moving from their spot. I watched as Damon whispered something in Elena's ear, something he made sure even another vampire wouldn't hear, and she smiled shaking her head as she tried so hard not to betray just how amused she was.

Natural. I used to be able to make Elena smile but there was considerable effort in it. But Damon, barely trying, could make her laugh as if she lived in that moment alone. He could draw out from her a myriad of expressions that would dance on her face, a lot of which I never knew she was capable of showing. I watched the two of them move in perfect time, as if every single motion was as easy as breathing, while I suffocated in my despair.

Elena put every single guard down and let my brother love her—scars, broken heart and baggage included. I don't recognize her anymore. The woman I fell in love with had Katherine's face but was so lost in her suffering that she was practically a blank slate. So, in my mind, I let myself believe that she was nothing like Katherine, a woman I convinced myself I was only compelled to love.

But the problem is that love is love. Whatever cause or reason, the endgame will always be that powerful emotion that can blind reason. Just enough that I never realized it was never about _not_ being Katherine. It wasn't about her. It was about her being Elena.

The woman my brother loves is distinct. I could never mistake this woman for Katherine. She is human but not frail. She has an abundance of goodness but is not afraid of the darkness that comes after her. She takes hesitant steps but isn't afraid to take a leap of faith—for the right reasons, for the right man. This woman, she's in love—but not with me.

I watched Elena lean in and whisper something to Damon, making him raise his eyebrows and pout like a child. She levels him with a look and an assuring touch on the cheek, as she released her arms from his neck, taking his hand as they walked towards where I stood.

"Hello, wallflower of the stereotypical high school dance," Damon said by way of greeting

"Damon…"Elena said with a warning, "play nice."

"I'm just calling it as I see it, Elena." Damon replied with a smirk before turning to me, "but lucky for you brother, she's got all these unresolved feelings for you, so you get a partner for ONE, just the one, song."

Elena glared at Damon, who shrugged it off, then extended her hand to me, "Dance with me?"

I nodded and took her hand, locking eyes with Damon as we walked to the center of the room. He crossed his arms and used two fingers to gesture from his eyes then to me, mouthing 'I'm watching you' as he did.

Elena rolled her eyes as she put one hand on my shoulder and kept the other on my hand, "Ignore him. He's being childish."

"He's jealous," I pointed out

"No, he's not. He was the one who pointed you out to me and said you looked like you could use a partner. He just wants you to think he is but he's really not." Elena said smiling at the memory

"Then why did he make a face earlier," I asked truly curious

"Because I said he'd never win best dressed tonight next to Matt," she said barely able to contain the laughter in her, "Points for effort though."

We swayed in complete silence for a few seconds, before I brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes and spoke, "I think I always knew that you'd find a way to pull Damon out of the shadows but I never expected that he'd pull _you_ out."

She raised an eyebrow at me, "You thought it would be you?"

"No," I said honestly, "because I never realized you needed it. I equated your humanity with light. I knew you but I guess I didn't understand you."

"Tell me Stefan, was it real? Us? Did you really love me?" she asked, her tone curious, nothing more

"Yes and no," I began with a sigh, "I loved the version of you I created in my mind, but it never was you. At least, it's not the woman I see now. I was too focused on being the good brother, the good man that I missed out on seeing _you_. I knew how you made me feel –you allowed me to define what Katherine was in my life. But I never realized that in comparing, I was measuring everything against her."

She nodded mutely as hurt briefly passed in her eyes, something Damon didn't miss. But she shook her head at him, silently letting him know that she was fine.

"Did you love me?" I asked in return

"Yes," she said simply, "I still do."

"Just different from how you love Damon," I said completing the thought.

Elena nodded, "You were what I needed. You were good to me and I clung to that, forgetting that I had a life other than you. I moved when you moved, and constantly worried about losing you that when I did, I struggled because I didn't know who I was without you."

She smiled over my shoulder, watching Damon make different faces every minute, "But that one, he could see me even if I couldn't He didn't push. He waited until I could make choices with my eyes wide open. He would have loved me even if I never returned that."

"And what if you lost him now?" I asked, "Will you survive that?"

"I'll find a way for Jenna, for Jeremy and for everyone else. But some part of me will never recover from that, a part of me will die with him," Elena whispered softly

"I'm sorry Elena."

"You can stop apologizing Stefan," Elena said gently, "It is what it is. I can forgive you but you can't seem to do the same for yourself."

"I'm not apologizing for leaving you Elena," I said quietly

"Then for what?" she said eyeing me quizzically

"For lying," I said staring into her eyes, searching for a reason to lie a second longer but I found nothing,

"Katherine isn't dead."

* * *

_**Bonnie**_

They made more sense. I said this to myself as I watched Elena dance with Stefan, wishing that my best friend would still change her mind. I sighed, knowing the familiar light in her eyes was not because of the one she was dancing with. As much as it pained me to admit, the reason was standing next to me, arms crossed and determined to try every facial expression known to man.

"Damon," I said crossly, "If you don't want them dancing together, just cut in. You don't have to stand here and be such a nuisance."

"Am I distracting you?" Damon said teasingly

"No, you're annoying me. " I retorted

"Not doing anything to you Bonnie, just minding my own business here. You should too," he said not looking at me

"You exist, that's enough to irritate me," I shot back

Damon shook his head and turned to me, "Then you're going to be agitated a very, very long time Bonnie."

I sighed, "I know. But that doesn't mean I trust you or that I need to like you. I can accept you're a part of her life but nothing past that."

"Good enough for me but not for Elena and you know it. I'm fairly sure her vote is for a truce between that. I'd give it a shot, for her." Damon said, "You don't believe I love her?"

"I don't think you're even _capable_ of love," I spat out, "but I'm not blind to what you've done for her. It will _never_ be enough to cancel out all the evil you've done or make me believe that monster isn't in you anymore, but I won't deny you've brought the pieces of Elena I thought was lost forever. When I look at her now, she resembles the friend I've known for so long, the one I couldn't find after the car accident. "

"You believe she loves me?" Damon asked, uncharacteristically serious, challenging me. He was asking, not because he didn't know, but he needed me to acknowledge it.

Resigned, I closed my eyes briefly, before looking at Damon, "With everything in her," I said with a sigh, "She loves you. I don't like it but she's sure. So I'm warning you, break her and you won't last another day."

"I wouldn't want to," he said softly, turning his gaze to Elena who signaled to us that she was going to the bathroom and she wanted me to come.

Damon rolled his eyes as I walked past him, "Why can't you girls just go alone to the bathroom? Seriously, is there some kind of rule against just one person going?"

I shook my head, wondering if I'll ever get rid of the pest as I walked toward the bathroom. I pushed the door in and immediately felt a chill down my spine. My body was filled with warning and I immediately gathered energy inside me, ready to release magic.

I turned around to grab the door and get out but I came face to face with none other than the doppelganger herself.

"What do you want? Where is Elena?" I said backing away

Katherine laughed, exuding pure malice in every movement, "Ah, no more hateful Damon moments to share? Elena? I don't know where she is. Well, no, I do have an idea but that's a question for Stefan not me."

"What do you mean?" I asked alarmed, disbelief with that she was implying flooded through me

"Oh come on Bonnie. You don't need a spell to figure this one out? You had the Code in your hands. You must have read it. Oh all right, here's a hint—I told Stefan all about that page about that pesky little curse Emily used on my bloodline."

"He wouldn't dare," I said my back against the wall, trying to look for any kind of weapon within reach

"He would and I think he already did. Ten to one, he's already with Elena at the tomb. Don't pretend to know him Bonnie. The brooding Stefan is not who he really is not when he's hopped up on human blood. You really put your faith in the wrong brother. What kind of friend are you? At least Elena figured out which brother actually has a mind of his own, and a dead but loving heart."

I swallowed hard, the truth sinking in as she smiled at me, fearing what was coming next. I concentrated every last ounce of power I had on bringing her to her knees but she just gave me a look of mock pity before stretching out her hand to grip my neck, lifting me up.

"Haven't I told you that you needed to try a bit harder? I'm offended. You didn't even practice for me." Katherine said, mocking me, "Now since Stefan has Elena, who has Emily's magic in her blood, which means I need some of that pixie dust too. And oh my, you've got that running through your veins, isn't that just convenient?"

My eyes widened as her fangs slowly slid out, her eyes morphing as evil radiated from within her, "If it's any consolation, Elena will be right behind you when you see the light at the end of the tunnel. Goodbye Bonnie."

I felt her pierce through my skin, draining the blood quickly from me. I felt my heartbeat slow down as I grew weaker, my vision getting dimmer until there was only blackness. Before the last of my energy left me, I cast a spell, finally placing my faith in Damon and accepting his love for Elena.

I took my last breath as I closed my eyes and hoped that it would be enough to save her.


	11. On a night like this, I bleed

**Break, mend and shatter**

**Disclaimer: The characters and other things from The Vampire Diaries don't belong to me. Credit goes to the rightful owners.**

**Chapter 10: On a night like this, I bleed**

_**Damon**_

Five seconds. It took me that long to realize there was something wrong in Elena's eyes when she waved Bonnie over, and it was five seconds too long. Her smile was not the same, forced but it was barely noticeable. I cursed and ran towards the bathroom, finally understanding what Elena was trying to hide—fear.

I crossed the room and weaved my way through the crowd and I was a few steps away from the bathroom door when she came out, eyes down as she smoothed out her clothes. She looked up with a curious smile on her familiar face as she walked towards me. I stood still as she placed her arms around me, waiting for me to do the same.

Instead I grabbed Caroline's hand as she walked past us, "Call an ambulance for Bonnie. She's in the bathroom, probably bleeding to death."

Caroline's eyes grew wide and I shook my head when she looked like she wanted to ask more questions. "Go."

"What's wrong with Bonnie?" came the question as her arms fell away from me, pure shock on her face as Caroline ran away from us

"Cut the crap Katherine. _You_ did this. Now, where is Elena?" I said glaring at her

Katherine immediately dropped the act, shifting to a stance that made her look bored. "You tell me. I'd like to know myself. Did you even know that there was another exit just over there? Apparently someone pulled a fast one on us. Can you guess who did this, my dear sweet Damon?"

"Stefan." I said with a hint of relief in my voice. He probably spotted the bitch and took Elena to safety.

Katherine laughed, mocking me, "Are you actually relieved to know she's with _Stefan_? On a night like this? How blissfully ignorant you are."

"It's a school dance Katherine. There's more to come, I don't mind missing half of this one. Hell, I'd take her to one in another town next month. What I do mind is you being here. I say this to you with as much sincerity as I can muster—drop dead."

"Ouch. How very little the witch told you and that is just too bad. It does make my life easier though, that you all have these trust issues." Katherine said, "Unlike me, I told Stefan everything he needed to know—at least enough to manipulate him to a false sense of heroism. With the right amount of human blood in his system, he's been quite unstable and very easy to manipulate. Now, do you still trust him Damon? Knowing that Stefan has been feasting on the very thing that makes him unpredictable and uncontrollable? Do you still think precious Elena is _safe_?"

"He wouldn't hurt her," I said gritting my teeth, eyes narrowed to slits, "Whatever blood is in his system won't be enough to change that he still cares for her. He'd sooner kill _you_ than Elena."

"I wouldn't bank on that. He can't kill me and that's precisely why he has Elena now, this night and this hour." Katherine said slowly backing away as sirens grew louder, the crowd getting closer to us, curious with what was happening in that bathroom.

"Make your point and make it fast. You obviously want to tell me whatever the hell it is, so just spit it out Katherine," I said with a strange calm, forcing the anger down

"Stefan will have Elena do the deed that_ both_ of you can't seem to bring yourselves to doing. She's going to _try_ and kill me." Katherine said with a malevolent smile, "Curious how?"

I swallowed hard and clenched my fists but said nothing. I watched as she backed away further, eyes on mine as she said the words I never expected to hear.

"Stefan's going to turn Elena."

_**

* * *

**__**Elena**_

I stood facing Stefan, his eyes still pleading, as Katherine arrived at the tomb she was never trapped in.

She took one look at me, "Ah, this is unexpected. I can still hear a heartbeat. Too bad Stefan, turning her now would have given you all a fighting chance of defeating me. Just imagine the power you could have had little bitch. Oh well. Less dramatic ending but it will do I suppose."

Katherine took a step towards me but Damon suddenly appeared and stood between the two of us.

"That's as far as you go Katherine," Damon said threateningly

"Or what?" Katherine replied, making a big show of coming closer to him, "I can literally rip your heart out right now to get to her and it wouldn't even take five minutes. You don't scare me, not when I can still see your desire for me right in your very own, impossibly blue eyes."

"Guess impaired vision does come with old age because the only _desire_ I have right now is to see you dead and gone." Damon said taking a step back, his hands going to me making sure I was secure behind him.

Stefan stepped up to stand beside his brother, forming a wall between me and Katherine, shielding me from view.

"Ah, the Salvatore brother everyone loved coming to save the day. How does it feel to be the failure this time Stefan? You didn't get the girl, you didn't kill your crazy ex, and now you just can't get someone to murder for you. It could have been very simple had you decided to just love me, and _only me._ We could have had forever, and now you just have tonight."

For the first time, I heard real pain in Katherine's voice—a glimmer of humanity I thought didn't exist. The hurt was raw and her jealousy resonated in her as she stood facing us, hatred pouring out for Stefan's betrayal.

Damon was about to open his mouth but Stefan already attacked Katherine, fangs bared with lethal intent.

"Stefan!" I yelled as Damon faced me, searching my eyes, "I'm fine Damon, help Stefan. Go!"

He nodded and handed me a stake before turning around in time to see Katherine throw off Stefan easily, as if he was mere trash. Katherine walked towards us, completely focused on me, eyes filled with the need to kill.

Damon stepped up to her and pushed her away by the shoulders, sending her flying across to slam against a broken wall. Shock registered on Katherine's face before fury settled in, "Remind me to finish off that witch when we're done here. She's got some magic I need to shut down. No matter, we're a minute away from midnight and with Bennett blood coursing in my veins, I'll be unstoppable."

She crouched down like a cat and lunged at Damon but he caught her with a punch on the stomach and she doubled over, her anger doubling as she took the hit. Her nostrils flared as she seethed, circling Damon as he stood poised to strike again.

My chest was pounding each second that I watched them collide again and again. My eyes widened as I saw Damon finally fall when Katherine dealt him a hard blow on the chest. She took out a stake and grinned evilly walking towards him to finish him off, Damon struggling to get up as he shot me a warning look telling me to stay away.

"Noooooo!" I screamed as I ran to them, only to be shoved aside by Stefan, who was determined to save his brother.

I stopped in my tracks, frozen in place, as I watched the stake find its unintended target—Stefan.

He took the fall for his brother who was still on the ground. Damon's face had a look of pure terror written all over it as he caught Stefan in his arms, lifeless with eyes wide open staring at the sky.

"Stefan!" Damon said in a strangled cry, "Dammit get up! Get up!" I could hear the anguish in his voice as the truth became harder to deny with each second that passed. Stefan was gone.

Damon held his brother and swallowed back tears, ripping out the stake from Stefan's chest and placing his hand over the wound, as if it would close it and heal him. He kept shaking his brother, saying his name over and over as grief overtook him. I ran to them, kneeling beside Stefan taking his hand and placing it on my cheek as tears fell from my eyes, murmuring his name along with his brother.

Katherine's eyes were wide open, her hands falling to her sides, as she stared at Damon shaking Stefan. From the corner of my eye, I saw Katherine close her eyes, her face stilled for one second, perfectly calm before she let out a gut-wrenching howl that pierced the night as if her heart was bleeding, causing her unbearable pain the world could never understand.

"This is _your _fault." Katherine said looking at me, her voice shaking with barely suppressed rage, "You were never supposed to have been born. Why the hell are you so hard to kill? That car accident should have killed you! You should never have met _him_. Stefan's blood is on _your _hands. _You're_ the curse on the Salvatore brothers Elena, not me. At least I can free _one_ brother from that tonight."

She reached out to get me but Damon was faster as he pushed me to safety, leaping up to meet Katherine yet again with renewed motivation to see her killed.

"No, you do _NOT_ get to even touch anyone else I love tonight. You die tonight, Katherine, by my hand." Damon said menacingly.

But Katherine with a broken heart was stronger than any of us could have anticipated. She managed to hold off Damon long enough to take me by the shoulders and throw me against a rock, full force of the impact crushing my skull in.

"Damon…" I whispered just before I closed my eyes.

And then there was nothing.

* * *

_**Damon**_

I stared in horror as I saw the light leave Elena's eyes, my name barely making a sound from her lips.

She was dead. I heard it—the moment her heart stopped beating. I just didn't want to believe it. I couldn't.

And then the pain overwhelmed me, rooting me in place, making me forget how to move, function or just do anything. It was impossibly strong that I couldn't even find the will to shut off my emotions. My instincts as a vampire died with Elena and I could only feel the pain as I watched Katherine turn to me, tears dried on her cheeks as her eyes flashed brilliant with anguish. I could only stare at Elena's limp body, watch as the blood oozed from her head, and listen numbly as Katherine lashed out.

"Aren't you going to thank me? Finally, it's just you and me, like you always wanted. This is all for _you_. Their blood is on _your_ hands Damon. I love you. All for you. Isn't that what you want to hear?" Katherine screamed, not meaning any single word, her pain of having killed Stefan herself driving her slowly insane

She breathed heavily, the tears falling fast from her eyes, "Maybe we are meant for each other. Only the strongest survive, and here we are born of the darkness that neither Elena nor Stefan could survive. Here we are both absolutely damaged and now broken beyond recognition. The world is now ours for eternity. We have forever to live out our regrets." Katherine spat out.

I turned to her and stared hard, anger rolling off me in waves, the disbelief finally dissolving. "No. _You _have no right to _feel_ Katherine. You do not get to stand there and pretend for a second that this was anything but a game for you. You're a killer, nothing else. You lost _nothing_ tonight because you never had anything to begin with."

Katherine recoiled, as if I slapped her hard across the face. "You act so high and mighty Damon, have you forgotten you're not so different from me. Innocent blood also spilled because of you. Elena is dead because of you. Don't even try washing away the guilt. Loving her, being part of her life— that's your contribution to her death. You forget Damon, you are _mine_."

"Shut up. I'm done talking. Obviously only one of us will walk away tonight and it's time to find out who." I said running straight for her.

Katherine geared up but was suddenly lifted high off the ground by the neck.

Elena.

I stopped and stared at her as she held Katherine with one hand, crushing her throat.

A strained but bitter laugh escaped Katherine as she tried to speak, "You drank his blood. He just couldn't kill you. And I just did for him. His plan did work after all."

"It was _my_ plan. He wanted to take me and run the moment he sensed you were back. But Bonnie already told me everything after Isobel died saving me. Drinking his blood meant that if I was hurt, I would heal and if something worse happened, I'd get to come back and finish you off." Elena said, her voice powerful and fierce

"Bravo. And so it ends." Katherine said as Elena dropped her on the ground. The moment she hit the earth, I drove the stake, the very one she used on Stefan, through her heart and watched as her skin turned grey and decomposed.

Katherine's face was frozen in an eternal smile, as if she took a secret with her as she died. A part of me wanted to feel something, anything but there was only relief and freedom. Any remnants of whatever I felt for her ended when I shoved the stake into her chest, and any doubts I might have felt vanished the second I saw Elena again standing before me.

I looked up at Elena as she stood staring at me, looking like she was about to fall over, her mouth half open in shock. I watched as she took a deep breath and opened her lips to speak but all she could do was bite her lips and tilt her head at me, chest rising and falling as if she was fighting her own emotions.

"I'm sorry," I said not knowing what else to say, "I'm sorry. You have a choice. You don't have to live this way. You don't have to live out this cursed existence."

She closed her eyes and lowered her head. Elena took a deep breath and opened her eyes, looked straight at me, holding me still.

"I love you Damon."

I stood up and took her in my arms, crushing her to me. I clenched my jaw as I fought off the wave of emotions that swept through me—grief, guilt, anger and relief. I could never bring back what we lost tonight but it didn't mean I had nothing left to fight for. I allowed myself to focus only on her, on how much I wanted to make it right for her, and I had an eternity to keep trying.

Elena reached up and took my face in her hands as she spoke, "We're hurting and we'll never be the same. But we will get through this. You and me. We'll mourn Stefan but we're going to try and live out the future he made possible for us. "

I touched my forehead to hers, letting my tears fall on her face as I repeated her words,

"You and me. For the rest of forever, you and me."

* * *

_A/N: Story is almost over :) __Just have the epilogue left and it's done (I will post that soon as I can). Just wanted to thank everyone who has followed this story and I hope you keep reading to the end. Thank you so much for all the reviews (they make my day complete :P), always happy to know what you think!_


	12. And then only two remained

**Break, mend and shatter**

**Disclaimer: The characters and other things from The Vampire Diaries don't belong to me. Credit goes to the rightful owners.**

**Epilogue: And then only two remained**

_**Elena**_

I sat on an old log as I stared out at the dark horizon, listening to the waves, the only reminder of where I was. It calmed but it wasn't enough to mask the pain that remained from the scars of that night. The confidence I felt that night that Damon and I would survive it together wavered because I knew nothing will ever be enough to completely dull the pain in my heart because I lost so many pieces of myself were shattered beyond belief.

I've spent the last four years seeing the world with Damon, trying to convince ourselves we weren't running away from having to face what we needed to mourn, from the things we couldn't take back. We talked, laughed and did everything as if we weren't hurting but we couldn't escape it. It was always there underneath the surface, lurking behind every silence or the tears that slipped when we thought the other wasn't looking.

Yet every year since, no matter where we were, we'd always find our way to this beach on the day that Stefan died. It's the closest we've ever gotten to Mystic Falls, since we left years ago, telling only Jenna, Jeremy and Alaric the truth, and letting everyone else believe that the woman they buried days later was me. We let them mourn me and Stefan, allowed them to believe I was really gone and in a way I truly was. No longer human and not the girl who once had life in perfect control. I'm not the same Elena, and I never will be.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on the soft footsteps that made its way towards me. Without turning around, I could imagine the confident but frustrated gait that came with it and the inevitable lecture for what I've done.

Damon sat next to me and stared straight ahead as well, shaking his head at the water as if he was disappointed in it instead of me. He turned to me and opened his mouth to speak but instead he just let out a long sigh, obviously just relieved he found me in one piece.

I looked at him and laughed gently, moving closer to him, wrapping my arms around his waist, without breaking eye contact, completely amazed by how beautiful they were when they held so much emotion—for _me._

"Sick of me already that you decided to run away?" Damon said giving me a look of exasperation, "It hasn't even been a decade, you sure you can handle _eternity_?"

"Left a note," I said defending myself weakly with a shrug of my shoulders

"Saying 'going out, be back later' doesn't quite cut it when you are an entire town away and without this fancy little ring when dawn is about to break. I stand by what I said before—you're not the worst company in the world Elena, and I'd like to keep you around. So please, for _my_ sanity, since you seem to have already lost yours, be a little bit more specific when you 'go out' and stay safe."

I blew out a breath and gave him a small smile as I took the ring from him, using my other hand to reach into my shirt and pull out a necklace. Damon reached out and held it in his hand, staring at it for a while before looking at me, concern etched deep in his face.

"I wasn't being suicidal and I knew you'd find me here. Considering….well, you know what day it is. And besides, I have this. It's Isobel's," I explained before leaning into his chest, pressing my ear against it, as if I will be able to hear a heartbeat. There wasn't one and there never will be one but the silence was enough. It calmed me enough to focus and continue to speak as he held me. "Alaric found it and he called, asking if I wanted he could send it to me. I got it last night when we got to the hotel."

He held me in silence, not because he didn't know what to say but because he understood I just needed him to hold me. I just needed him to make me feel safe, while the world kept spinning when I wanted it to stop.

"Play a game with me?" I said softly after awhile

"As long as it doesn't involve wearing anything pink," he said seriously, "Or eating squirrels."

"One question each, honest answers only." I said pulling away to face him squarely

Damon rolled his eyes and raised an eyebrow, "How many times do I have to tell you, that idea of yours doesn't count. Only you would think that pretending we're on a talk show fits the definition of a game. Not fun at all, Elena, not even a little bit."

"Just humor me," I said pleading with him

"Okay, I'll start," Damon said with a mischievous grin, "Will you get mad if I throw you in the water now?"

I slapped him on the arm and made a face, "Damon! Seriously, you'll waste away your question? Come on, we need this. Some things need to be said and this is my pathetic excuse to start that conversation. But to be clear, the answer is hell no to that question. It's freezing. I'll throw _you_ in there if you even try."

"Oooh, someone is proud of being freakishly strong even with normal vampire standards. Sorry, not everyone was turned on the night of some cosmic mumbo jumbo," Damon said mocking me, "Fine, here's my real question—we were already on the way here, like we do every time of the year, did you really have to come here _now, _as in this very second? You could have just told me and I would have avoided that panic attack I didn't even know vampires could get. My undead heart just about dropped to my stomach when I realized what you did, as if you've forgotten you look exactly like someone a lot of people love to hate—the murderous kind of hate not the kindergarten kind."

I took a deep breath before starting; knowing what I was going to say wasn't going to be easy. The truth never is, and most of the time, it hurts like hell.

"I needed to be alone because I wanted to try seeing my life without you. Because I wanted to imagine what it would be like if all the shattered pieces were put back in place. I tried to picture life in Mystic Falls with all my friends, graduating from high school and then going off to college someday. Then there's being part of Jenna and Alaric's wedding, or the birth of their first child. I tried to see how it would have been to be around for Jeremy and continue to be the older sister that annoyed him by being so protective. Human. Normal. Parents alive, Isobel somewhere out there and…"

"And Stefan," Damon filled in for me since I couldn't bring myself to be the one to say the word that will hurt the most, "Pretty picture you have there, Elena. No shadows, nothing dark, no place for me."

I nodded in agreement, letting the sound of the crashing waves fill the silence for a while, "And that's why I just couldn't see it. My mind refused it because it was a lie. Because if none of it ever happened, if by some miracle I was able to take it all back and I had that life, then _you_ wouldn't be here with me. You wouldn't be sitting next to me and making me feel like everything we've been through is worth it. I wouldn't feel like I can handle reliving that night a thousand times because it meant that I'd be here right now, next to you, with my chest ready to explode because there's so much inside I feel for you. I'm just sorry that the people we left behind will not live with the comfort of knowing that for the first time in a long while, I'm truly happy."

I took a deep breath and pulled out a chain from my pocket, unclasping it and threading Stefan's ring through it, "I can accept everything now, without any bitterness or longing, because even if there's still a chance to have that, in the end, I'm still going to choose us. I'm sorry you had to wait so long for me to get to this point and well, sorry because it seems like you're stuck with me."

"For a second there I thought you were trying to say goodbye," Damon said not looking at me, trying to make his tone light but his voice caught and I knew his fear was real

"And live without that sense of humor everyday? Never!" I said mocking him, trying to get a smile on his face, "I was trying to tell you I love you, not goodbye. I just wanted you to know that nothing is holding me back from loving you like I always wanted to. Not goodbye, Damon. Never that."

He looked at me sideways, one side of his mouth turning up, "You're cheesy like that, you know?"

"Only because you bring it out that side of me," I said. I turned and put the necklace around Damon's neck. His hands closed over the ring as he looked at me, "I love him, Damon. I'll always love Stefan in some way but he's yours to keep now. He was always mine to lose, I think somewhere in me, I knew that the minute I let you in my life. But _you _were never supposed to know how it was to mourn him."

Damon closed his eyes and tucked me in his arms, and placed his chin on top of my head, "I wonder if he ever figured out I cared, that I loved him, in my own sick and twisted way. I never failed to remind him that I'd do everything to make him miserable but I _never_ wanted him gone. He's my brother and I'd follow him to the ends of the earth to save him. At the end of the day, everything stripped away, he's my brother… and I miss him. I've forgotten life without him because for better or worse, he was always there. And now, he's not. I can either curse the world or just remember him and move on. Elena, I would never give _this_ up even if it meant I could bring him back. From the day I told you in your half-asleep state, nothing has changed, I still love you and I want you with me, no end in sight."

We sat in silence for a long time, arms around each other as we waited for the sun to rise. We watched the water gradually transform from an endless blackness to a glistening surface of the deepest blue. It was like watching my own heart being brought to the light out from the depths of my darkness.

"What's _your_ question, Elena?" Damon asked suddenly as the sun finally lit up the sky, bathing us in its light and warmth, that for a while we could believe the blood that ran through our veins was warm and there was a pulse as it flowed.

"I don't have any. Not anymore," I said with my hand on the pendant that hung from my neck. I smiled at Damon and took his hands, pulling him along after me, running straight for the water in front of us.

Just like before, he swept me off my feet and swung me around before dropping me unceremoniously in the water. I got up, laughing as I did, and placed my arms around his neck, staring into his eyes before closing mine as I kissed him on the lips, telling him what words were never enough for—that he is my life, he is what drives me insane and keeps me sane in all the right ways, and that he's every reason I'll ever need to stay alive. I kissed him with everything in me that loved the man who stayed and didn't walk away. My lips told him how the little things he did made me feel like I was something worth protecting, someone _he _decided was worth saving.

He pulled away, holding my face in his hands, eyes searing in to me with so much intensity, "Time out is over Elena. Four years is more than enough. It's time to go home. You're ready. _We're_ ready. Granted, Mystic Falls might not be ready but hey, I can't hear them complaining from way out here."

"And shock the living daylights out of everyone when they see me? Damon, seriously," I said keeping it light, trying to hold back the longing I felt

"Come on, who doesn't like a grand entrance. Look Elena, stop worrying. Small steps, we'll go to your Aunt Jenna and, I will never get used to saying this, your Uncle Alaric, see their attempt at raising the little munchkin—who based on her pictures, looks a lot like you. Jeremy should be home from college or whatever wild, but perfectly safe and age-appropriate, adventure he's on. Anything beyond that, we'll deal with when we get there. You can even walk around town with a sack over your head if you want."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, wanting so desperately to believe that we could do it, "Bonnie, Caroline and Matt?"

"The truth, we tell them everything. They deserve it or at least as much as they can handle. The little witch should know her handiwork paid off, considering she almost died for it," Damon slid his hands to my shoulders, dropping his forehead to touch mine, "I'm not saying we'll stay forever. I mean they will notice the lack of lines and wrinkles after a few decades or so—and no amount of attributing it to good genes will head off that line of questioning. BUT, it's time we stop running for the wrong reasons, especially not from people who were there when the world decided to explode in our faces. Elena, this is the last step for us to really move on and let go. Game over. We have to see all those places again and be able to live with the memories without any bitterness or regret. If you really mean everything you just said to me, then it's time to start fighting again—to feel alive, to look at each other and believe that we're not missing anything anymore, no need to keep looking over our shoulders."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before looking up at him, "Hold my hand?"

"Every step of the way. Never letting you go." Damon said with a kiss on my forehead as he pulled me closer to him.

I pulled back and placed my hand, my trust and my love in his hands. I was full of disbelief that I was willing to dive in head first and abandon all my doubts and fears of what awaited us in Mystic falls, but as long as he was with me, I'm ready to take that leap of faith. I looked at my hands in his and said the words I've wanted to say for four long years,

"Then let's go home."

_Fin_

* * *

_A/N: That's it folks. Hope you enjoyed it. Thanks to all those who stayed with me on this one. Thanks for all the reviews. Looking forward to the rest of season 2—may it provide enough D/E scenes to inspire more fics. :P_


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